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Key Truisms about Surviving Lost Love
When one door of happiness closes, another opens:
but often we look so long at the closed door
that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.
Helen Keller.
Life's glory is not in never falling,
but in getting up EVERY time you fall.
Nelson Mandela
Overcoming a Broken Heart
Step One:
- Allow yourself time to heal, and know that you can heal. Whether the loss is due to death, rejection, or other reason.
- It is normal to grieve over a loss of a love for any reason.
- It usually takes two to three years for a couple whose relationship has broken up to begin to put their lives back together again. It sometimes takes five years for individuals and families to get over the emotional pain and trauma. Many people can have serious health and emotional problems during this time.
Step Two:
- Realize that you still can find happiness.
- Realize that you can control how you think, what you think about, and how much.
- A key is to concentrate on the positives you have in the present. Not thinking about the future or past.
Healing Helpers
- Being around people and getting involved in helping others is a good way to accelerate the proces of healing.
- Laughing helps too, so see a comedy, watch funny things. That is part of the reason the Irish have a party when someone passes away.
- Helping others helps you loose sight of your own losses.
- It is strongly suggested that you take the intensity of your feelings and re-direct them into doing something constructive that helps others. For me, it was creating this web site and doing volunteer work that helps others. Do volunteer work, it can help the healing process greatly. Especially, if the volunteer work envolves working with others, and feeling gratitude from those you are helping. The channeling the power of your feelings to accomplish constructive acts is very, very helpful.
Suggested Reading:
All three helped me. Especially the 1st & 2nd Habit
Step Three:
- Activily work to feel better.
- Act happy and smile. Even if you don't feel that way, it should start to make you feel that way.
- Life will be better
My Personal Experience
In my lifetime (in my 40's now) I have had several relationships. After each major relationship, it took me awhile before I was able to move on. To open myself to caring about someone else.
Even when I did move on, those who I said "I love you" to, I still care about and love to this day.
Now, even knowing that I still truly love the girl who inspired this website who moved on, I don't think of her as a "one and only love." She is the only person I can say I have "true love" for, and might remain that for the rest of my life. I don't know. She may be the person whom I love most in my life, and is at this point in my life by a wide margin.
But, as with all losses of love, I need time to grieve over my loss, I need to cherish what I had, realize what I have good in my life at the moment, and keep a hope for a better future.
If you have lost love, allow yourself the time to grieve (could be months, years. Harder when you have contact with the person that you love, than if you have no contact therapists tell me), then follow the same steps I am trying to do.
Good Luck,
Gregg
NOTE: Count your blessings! Take time to count what is good in your life. If a Jewish man living in a Nazi death camp during World War II could find positives in his life and have a positive attitude, then you can too!
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Bookshelf
Good Reading that helps!
Truisms
If you love something...let it go, if it comes back to you it was truly meant to be.
Unknown
The course of true love never did run smooth.
Shakespeare
The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.
Gilbert K. Chesterton
Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.
Anonymous
Write the bad things that are done to you in the sand, but write the good things that happen to you on a piece of marble.
Arabian Parable
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