Title: Playa? Or to good to be true?

By: Cassandra

The last guy I dated was about a year and half ago. Well, I guess I've dated other men, but it never lasted. The guy's name is Brandon. We weren't really great friends, but every time I saw him, we got a long really good and he always asked for my number. I live in a hick town so when a guy asks for your number, it's not necessarily to hook up, just to go and hang out and party or hang out. We called each other sometimes just to see what was going on and to talk about the latest gossip about ppl in our lives. We had mutual friends. I'm really good friends with his cousin and one night me and a couple guy friends were just hangin' out, playin' cards and drinkin'. They asked me why I was still single and never dated. I just told them I was content with just being good friends with guys because then I never got played and I knew what and who to avoid because of hearing everything coming from guys. I told them I was interested in Brandon and his cousin decided to tell him. Well, me and Brandon started dating. Everything was great. I told him in the beginning that I didn't always want to be around him because I didn't want to be those girls who hooked up and ignored their friends either until they broke up or got over that "being in love" feeling. Well he constantly wanted to be with me all the time. A lot of our friends, guys and girls, told me he never talks about his feelings or anything. Well I got him to and tell me about stuff that has happened...really personal stuff. He was good, not great in bed, but that never bothered me because I saw a great person in him and I figured we'd learn that on the way. Well eventually we started fighting, because he just turned 21 and he always wanted to go out. I didn't turn 21 until a year later...2 days exactly after his birthday. Eventually it got to be too much and July 4th he cheated on me with a good friend of his. I found out from a friend the next day. We were supposed to go up north camping and I called him and told him I wasn't going. I was crying and was totally confused. When we were going out, he could never stand to be without me, holding my hand or kissing me. He is such a great kisser!! He called me every 2 minutes and then came over. I finally agreed to still go up north but said we had a lot of talking to do. He followed me around when I was packing up my stuff and asked him what he was doing. He said he wanted to be sure I didn't walk out the door when he wasn't looking. Well we never officially brook up then until about 2 months later of fighting. I couldn't trust him anymore. Since we had a broke up for a bout a year, we were still messin' around. Now when we hang out, he brings up stuff from when were together and stuff. Lately I just don't want to see him because when we are together...around other ppl...we almost act like we don't know each other, we don't talk or anything. He had asked a really good guy friend why I hated him and was rude to him. My friend said maybe it was cuz just the fact of us being boyfriend/girlfriend. Then I had asked him if he wanted to go to a bar with me for soemthing they had going on. He basically found other plans and never called me back. The weird thing is a couple months ago, we went to a concert together with a bunch of friends and I rode back with him and another friend. I had to sit on his lap becuase there was no room. He grabbed my hand and held it and fell asleep on my shoulder and when I got out of the truck to walk into my apartment, he gave me a hug. I went inside...without him. And that's the last time we hung out. I love him so much. I just want to know what I should do. And what I can do to try and win him back into my heart.

Hopelessly,
Cassandra

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Wednesday, June 2, 2004 -
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