my boyfriend and i were together about 2 years we'd lived together and everything recently he became distant and didn't seem to really care about anything any more i broke up with him and soon realized that i loved him more than anything in the world and couldn't live without him. I went back to him and asked him if he thought we should give it another try... he said no. I gave him time to think about things and with tears running down his face he finaly told me that he loved me more that anything and he didn't know what he would do without me in his life but he just doesn't see me the same anymore hes not IN LOVE with me... i was heart broken we are best friend and talk every day and hang out together all the time... it still feels like he's in love with me. I guess my question is... how does someone fall out of love with you and could he just be going through a confusing time right now and he really is still in love with me he just doesn't know how to handle it anymore? i should have also added that his parents are in the middle of a really nasty devorce his dad cheated on his mom for the umteenth time and she finnaly left him... His dad hasn't contacted him since but has seen his other two brothers. he acts like it doesn't bother him but iknow it does... could this be why he is doing all this? oh i also should put that i am 19 he is 20.
heart broken, mary
Responses to this article:
--- Saturday, June 26, 2004 -
Answer by: Enigma
Mary,
Sorry...
Listen, I really think sometimes once time and distance is put upon people they often are able to stand back from a situation and sort through how they feel... and sometimes it isn't how they thought they felt to begin with.
It sounds to me that while your ex boyfriend DOES care about and DOES love you... it is as a FRIEND only. It seems that this was a hard thing for him to have to tell you, and was more than likely a hard thing for him to recognize to begin with and accept.
He is obviously going through some emotional things at this time with his parents divorce and his Fathers distance... however I don't know that this is whats driving him in his decision regarding the two of you.
Unfortunatly people fall "out of love" all of the time... for many reasons... growing apart, feeling betrayed... the reasons are endless...
Be there for him as his FRIEND right now if you feel you can, and don't put pressure on him for more... tiempo... time will tell you where the two of you will be in the end.
LOVE QUESTIONS & ANSWERS: Love Q & A : Get your love & relationship questions answered - NEW!! Love Q&A Forum | Old Love Q&A Love Pros : Professional Help with love's challenges & relationships