Really, to anyone who has input regarding my question. I recently broke it off with my girlfriend of many years. It was, for the most part, a mutual agreement, and both of us could see it coming, and yet neither really wanted to admit it.
She, although being a very cute and smart girl, never really blew me away. I mean, it was great being with her, we had a lot of fun, and the sex was likewise, great, but she never gave me the inkling that she was the one, and the more I stayed with, and I suppose, she with me, I couldn't help but feel like I was settling, for something that wasn't as good as it should or could be, but was better than being without it.
I am at a crossroads at the current moment, and not really sure about what to do. Prior to the current events, when people asked as to the status of our relationship, I stated "still together," not joyfully, or bitterly, but robotically. As if it was not a good thing, or a bad thing, but just something that was. I do not know whether I should simply leave her behind me, and delegate this relationship to the past, or is there any reason to perhaps, salvage, if possible what is left of this relationship, and see if, based upon the probabilities, to stay with the belief that perhaps I am simply "settling."
There have been times of pure enjoyment with her, and I wonder if I simply do not suffer the "wanting what you can't have" syndrome. That perhaps, I will never be happy, because I will never truly want what I have, instead only concentrating on having what I want.
Sorry this was so long. So, was I right or wrong?
Responses to this article:
--- Wednesday, June 30, 2004 - talk about it
Answer by: Johanna
hey Anthony
i aint no one to tell you what to do but i think you should of talk 2 her insted of just having all those feeling 2 ur self ...sometimes to think you know the person you are with sometimes you feel things for some one you care for but if there is something goign on i belive u should talk 2 that person about it because u gotta think about her 2 she loves u as much as u used to or stil do and not only are ur feeling getting hurt but her more because of the fact that you make her think that u still feel the same way u did at the begining of the relation ship ....
--- Monday, June 28, 2004 - I Know it's you
Answer by: Me
If this is you...and I believe it is, I hurt more than anything right now. But I don't want you to be with me if I wasn't your "one." I loved you more than anything and you knew it. I would have done anything for you. I guess you're right with not wanting to settle with someone who didn't blow you away. I thought you were the one, but maybe I was wrong. All I know right now is that I still love you and it's killing me.
--- Monday, June 28, 2004 -
Answer by: Enigma
Anthony,
You're welcome...
I know you'll figure things out and be okay regardless of what you choose to do... do it for the right reasons and because it's what makes you happy;)
--- Sunday, June 27, 2004 - Enigma
Answer by: Anthony
Enigma,
All I can really say, is that if not for you, this board would not have a reason to exist. I don't exactly know what to do, but thank you for your advice, your insight, and your thoughts. Thank you.
--- Sunday, June 27, 2004 -
Answer by: Enigma
Anthony,
The only person who knows how you really feel regarding this girl is you...
I don't think this is a question of right or wrong, I think it's more a issue of staying with someone out of comfort even if you've grown apart... or letting them go and feeling out of place now because you had grown accustom to them being there.
While it's true that a lot of people always seem to want what isn't tangible... I don't really think thats what is driving you here... it sounds to me that your relationship with your girlfriend got "stale" and "boring" and nobody was doing anything to improve it...
In the words of Sheryl Crow "It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you've got" something to think about...
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