About 1 year ago, I met a girl who was a mutual friend of other friends, and started dating. Initially i liked her very much, and our relationship progressed, however after time a few red flags arose. Socially, we went out to drink, and after a while, her drinking problem appeared. She doenst drink all the time, or even have to drink alot, but when she does, she becomes violent, and experiences blackouts. Since then she has seen couselling and doesnt drink anymore whatsoever. Our relationship Progressed. Other things came into play. I am a reasonably stable individual ,and I enjoy my own solitude as well as the company of others. She gets offended when i want to hang out with my guy friends on my own, behaves moodily and jealous, and acts suspicious and if there is a good looking girl present in the room, as If I am looking at this girl, and not her. Many discussions have passed, and although it seems as if she has gotten over her jealous tendencies to some degree, I can almost tell she is just hiding these feelings now instead of manifesting them. Arguments with her can be crazy, with me trying to tell her that what she is doing is hurting me, and her explaining that i am "always putting her down and making her feel badly" "pointing out all the negatives" etc. I try to reason and explain that im just hurt, but she flies off the handle, says that shes crazy, that im *expletives* etc. She definitely has an anger management problems, even agrees that she has them, and even has had some depression problems during our relationship. I have taken my time, been strong and been there for her, and i can say that im not an angel and have snapped back at her and said hurtful comments before during arguments. However recently my head is filled with doubts... I like the activities we do, i like the time we spend together, and im very physically attracted to her, even intellectually we are good. But somehow I still feel emotionally drained, and unsure about the longevity of this relationship. I still like to have a beer with my buddies once in a while, and now that she doesnt drink, she expects me to give it up altogether as well... I want to be supportive, but isnt that a little controlling? In the pit of my stomach Im not sure im even in love with her, but am i wrong? is there something Im not seeing?
My my, so much to say. Well let me just say I was (and am), in love with this girl I had been seeing for some time. She was just as crazy as you girl and more. She was moody, unpredictable, unstable, loving, and uncertain. But something kept me going. I didn't realize until way later (when we were seperated), that I way truly in love with her. She was my first love. Despite all her antics and moods, I saw past them, and loved her because of her flaws, not in spite of them. Sorry to ramble on, I just know exactly where you are. Now I don't know your girl, but I sounds similiar to mine. She actually had a reason for the way she acted. Bipolar disorder and everything else ran in her family. So maybe she suffers from more than just depression. Find out in some way if it runs in her family, and then you'll be able to better understand why your girl acts the way she does. In general, talk to her one on one about your guy's difficulties. I have no clue as to how to bring it up to her since she's so touchy, but good luck. As for being in love, love is weak, but strong, sane yet strangely crazy. It is everything except doubt. So if you are feeling doubt, you might just have to reavaluate if you are truly IN love with her, or you just simply love her. I know what being in love is. Trust me. Being in love is loving a girl even more wild than yours and after two years, still loving her more and more each day. Or maybe I'm the crazy one. Anyways, chunks of love.
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