Thanks so much for your great advice. I told you about the guy at work, who has been very talkative and outgoing. He then started acting wierd and it felt he was avoiding me. He was because he thought I liked him and it looks like he doesn't feel for me more than a friend. I was going to say something myself, but couldn't bring myself to do it, so I said something to a common friend. She said she'd say something ti him for me. I'm not sure if she did, but at work yesterday he was a lot more talkative like before. It still felt a little wierd and I don't know what to talk to him about. I want to hang out with him one on one and with the group, but I'm nervous to ask because it might get wierd. Should I ask him if he wants to be friends? He gives mixed messages. I only have until Aug. 16th with him at work and that's only seeing him two days a week. I really want to develop a good friendship with him before he leaves, so we keep in touch and hang out during the school year. Do you have any other advice? Thanks again. It meant a lot what you said and that you responded. hy you're feeling so confused about it all.
Now, you say he asked a friend whether you liked him - this may have been because of one of the following -
1. He really digs you & wanted to find out via other people how you felt about him OR
2. He's worried you like him more than a friend because he doesn't feel the same
It's anyone's guess which it is but since you do say that he has an outgoing personality it's unlikely that he's scared & is being all weird because of that... I'm just not sure.
Either way, you should keep on being friendly but tell him you've noticed that things have gotten weird recently. Don't just ignore it. Say you're confused because you really just want to get to know him better. Whatever you do you need to clear the air otherwise he'll be getting mixed messages which'll only add to the confusion...
Maybe, if he does approach one of your friends again, put the word out that you're just being friendly & that he needn't be so freaked out by it!!
Don't let this fester - sort it out as best you can :) Best of luck
Responses to this article:
--- Wednesday, July 28, 2004 - Sorry it's a little late!
Answer by: Emma
Summer - sorry for the delay, I only get online in the evenings now; anyway... thank you for the compliments - I'm glad my advice helped!
Well, I'm certainly glad he's more talkative around you - there is nothing worse than things becoming weird somehow & you just haven't got a clue as to what you should say to make things 'okay' again. So this is something that you should take advantage of...
If I were you I wouldn't say "let's be friends" even though that your intention simply because there's a chance that it may 'reignite' the weirdness that once was. Keep on being friendly - just not too in your face (if you know what I mean), that way he'll get the message without you having to say anything...
Keep things simple, ask him how he is, what his plans are after work, whether he's seen a film you like & so on. Play it cool & try not to appear over-eager otherwise you'll be sending him mixed messages :)
You should definitely ask him to join you with friends just don't make too big a deal of it, not that I think you will - the last thing you need is to make him go quiet on you again. So say something like - "we're going to the cinema tonight, would you like to come?", if he's hesitant tell him it'd be really great to see him outside of work sometime - that way, you've left the door open for another time.
The aim, as you say, is to develop a friendship & any declarations (of any kind) would cross this line. You want to be friends but, as you would with other people, it's the friendliness that you exude and your general behaviour which gets this message across.
Stay cool & have confidence in yourself, that's the best advice I can give. Acting chilled & not acknowledging the weirdness that happened will make him even more forthcoming & less afraid of what your intentions are. This I promise you - so keep talking!
Just be yourself & you'll be fine! Good luck!
@:-)
--- Tuesday, July 27, 2004 - Sorry..
Answer by: summer23
Sorry Emma. I feel really stupid that I somehow put/pasted your response to my original problem with my new comments.
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