am middle aged 43 yrs old man and have fallen in love with a beautiful girl of 20 yrs old. i have developed special feelings with her, But at the same time i am married and very honest with my wife. i have so far not expressed my feelings to my sweetheart. we work at the same place but just keep on watching eachother. i do not know what is in her mind. please assist, i am confused and do not know how to go about this relationship
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Responses to this article:
--- Tuesday, July 20, 2004 -
Answer by: Emma
I think you need to review your feelings more seriously. Ask yourself - do I REALLY want to pursue anything with this younger woman? If you do then there are a number of things you need to take into consideration...
You have no idea what this girl thinks of you so you shouldn't be considering making any advances towards her in the here and now. Assess what YOU want - are you happy in your marriage? Is your wife all you need for the rest of your life? Is it worth risking it all to lead a single life and would you be happier living that way?
Establish these things first. If you aren't content with the relationship you're currently in - talk to your wife, just don't make any rash decisions. You must be honest & end your marriage if you seriously want to pursue a relationship with ANY other woman but understand the likely costs incurred by doing so.
Seriously, if you love your wife could you do this to her? We all have our down-in-the-dump days, whatever situation we're in - what seems real & meant to be one day might be a silly infatuation the other. This girl is currently out of your reach because you are married, hence she is even more attractive to you. What's to say you become single & she takes an interest? You've place her on a pedestal but when you're free to do as you please are you sure you'll be content without your wife?
Is it really worth giving up an otherwise good marriage for, what seems to be, a passing crush?
Take it easy & do some self-evaluation before you make any decisions - like you admit, you're confused so give things some time.
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