Title: Does she want to get back together?

By: Rob23

Well I'll start off with the background of the situation. Started seeing each other in May of 03 dated for about 4mons. She had been in a four year relationship(bad break up) with her boss(7yrs her senior)at work and had been broken up with him for about 3-4 months before we had started our relationship. She told me she had liked me for sometime before we got together (We were friends for about 6mons prior.).

She was a very nice girl carring and all. So before long I started to have what one would call strong emotions for her. Things were going well when she brought up the fact that maybe we should slow down a little because we did some what jump into the relationship with both feet. She said that she wanted to have an "open" relationship. I did not fully understand that she wanted to be able to see other people, so I agreed to this.

Later, like a sledgehammer, I find that she is still hanging out with her ex, whom is still her boss. So I break up with her. After a few days she calls me. We talk and I tell her I still want to be with her, but it has to be exclusive. She agrees and we see each other for another month or so.

One night I drive by her work after hours going to a bar and I see her car there. No worry. I leave the bar around 3, still there. Not to worried. Spend the night at a friends around the way go home at 6am passing her job and it's still there. NOW I'M WORRIED.

She calls me later that day and I can feel what is coming in the pit of my stomach. "I spent last night at my ex's, we didn't do anything serious(they did make out), but I had to tell you."

So as you might imagine my day/month is ruined. I break up with her, and she is left with saying I'm so sorry I messed up please don't hate me.

Being the person that I am I forgave her on the spot. We didn't get back together, but after a few weeks started talking on the phone again. In fact, except for the things associated with a BF/GF relationship, we began hanging out like we used to. This went well we would talk nearly everyday and it was clear that we were still interested in each other. I would ask her if she still had feelings for me and she'd said yes but, that she still had feelings for her ex also. She did not want to get back with him and that right now she just doesn't want to be in a serious relationship with anyone.

After a few months of cat and mouse I started to get the feeling that she was just telling me this as to not hurt my feelings by saying I don't like you anymore. She denied this, but who knows. In Nov she told me she felt I was controlling because I'd always ask if she wanted to hang out and if she couldn't she felt I would get angry and hurt, so she said she would let me know when she wanted to hang out. We still talked, but only maybe once a week.

After 2mons ,around Jan 1st, we hung out again and started going out(platonically) albeit not as much as before.

So this goes on until the middle of April. Up until then I had kept my cool. I didn't pressure her to go out. So the middle of April I let her know that I still like her. She was supprised and thought that I was seeing someone. She said she still liked me in that way also, but she still didn't want a serious relationship, giving she doesn't have the time or energy now to put into one as her reason. I told her I was fine with this and at this point I didn't mind an "open" relationship. She agreed and we went out on what I would call a date to a nice restaurant. That night I may have jumped the gun by asking her if I could kiss her and to my dimay she said I could kiss her on the cheek. The date went all right even though I got the feeling she didn't think of it as a date.

So I tell her I'll call her in a couple days when I drop her off. I keep my word, but she doesn't return my call. Now she has told me before that she is very bad at keeping in touch with people even some that she has known for years, but I decide that I am tired of thinking about her and getting depressed over the idea of us getting back together, so I stop calling her.

In the middle of May I moved taking an internship across the country. I told all my friends( many whom she also knows, but rarely talks to) that I was leaving except for her. I figured this would be good for me also in helping forget about her. Now one day in the middle of June I decide to call her. She picks up and is completely suprised to hear from me. She had not heard that I had left and had tried calling my other place for weeks. She told me she thought I hated her and never wanted to speak to her again, I told her I felt the same way about her. She was hurt that I didn't tell her I was leaving and wanted to know if I was going to be coming back. I couldn't tell her if I was or wasn't. We talked for about an hour and she told me she was sorry she hadn't called me earlier, but that she had been really busy.

So now she calls me almost every week. She regularly asks if I know if I'll be coming back. She asks me if I think she's gettin better at calling me. She's always interested in what I'm doing. She writes me letters, she even asked what the price of plane tickets were. I adopted a pony for her birthday(She had always wanted one,and its not as exspensive as you think)and she got it yesterday. She called me that night excited after telling her mother. She told me how much she loved it and that she wrote me a letter with somethings in it that I'd like(I don't know what that meant). I told her at the end of our convo. that I missed her some. She said she missed me too, and that it seemed like we talk more now. I said who would have thought and she said "lifes funny like that sometimes".

I don't really now what this is all about. It seems she has a new found liking for me. I can honestly say that I am still in love with her. But saying that even if she did want to get back together. I don't know if I could. At least not that easily.

Sorry this is so long. Alot of it is just telling my story to someone with an outside view. I guess I'd like to see what people think about this. I know I probably sound like a glutton for pain but oh well. I'd just like some feed back. Thanks for listening. ROb

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Saturday, July 24, 2004 -
Answer by: Emma