can you establish a relationship after having sex on the first date? how do you know when a man wants more than sexual relationship?
Responses to this article:
--- Monday, August 23, 2004 - Having read all that below...
Answer by: Gregg@LoveIsGreat.com
Having read the responses below, and agreeing with it for the most part. I do want to add that although not likely, it can still wind-up as a long term relationship. In many cases, determining factors are what leads up to the first date, what happened that led you to have sex, and what happens afterwards. The general guideline is sex on the first date leads to you being considered good for booty call.
--- Saturday, August 21, 2004 -
Answer by: Sam
I completely agree with Jonathan and Em -- if you want some more answers to your question, Melanie, check out Dr. John Gray's book, "Mars and Venus on a Date". It explains the stages couples go through in relationships. When you sleep with a guy on the first date -- the probablility of the relationship becoming anything more than sexual is very slim. He looses repect for you and desn't have much else to pursue. Men not only want a reserved woman, they like the pursuit and hunt of it all.
Bottome line: If you want a meaningful, lasting relationship -- WAIT to have sex until it is the right time. Sleeping with a person so soon not only degrades you, it also gives you a high risk of getting dumped -- to say the LEAST.
--- Saturday, August 21, 2004 -
Answer by: Emma
Jonathan's right - when a relationship begins with sex so soon the chances of it becoming long term are far less than if you had gotten to know each other properly & not "given it up" so easily... I mean, I don't care how feminist women want to be - you should never lose self-respect... it is NOT an attractive quality to men (the RIGHT men you want, that is) & they'll only view you as "easy", i.e. not "relationship material".
Relationships grow & this takes time. You ought to have established friendship & found trust in one another to begin with, then when you both feel strongly enough to make a commitment i.e. you get married & experience intimacy for the first time on your wedding night it is a truly beautiful thing - God's gift for us to be shared with someone we truly want to be with - long term.
If you share this faith; you should still be aware of the connection & intimacy that getting so heavily involved with someone brings, it's inevitable & you end up getting hurt. Bringing it into a relationship at the start degrades the entire thing in my opinion - there is SO much more to being a couple, so many important things - like loving one another & I mean REALLY loving one another - with your whole heart :)
Sex should be shared between two people who are in love if you want it to mean something & if you want more than a sexual relationship. Respect each other, enjoy being with each other & don't rush things; you'll find you get a lot more respect & that'll it'll really mean something as opposed to being something which you hope, in vain, will keep a guy in a relationship with you...
Raise your expectations; you have so mcuh more to offer a guy...
--- Saturday, August 21, 2004 -
Answer by: Jonathan
To be honest, probably not possible. You may may not notice it but when a guy goes out with a woman, he sub-conciously analyze what you are all about and what he wants from you. He may not even notice this. When you have/had sex with him on that first date, any longterm interest he had more than likely was/is lost right when you gave in to what you thought he wanted --- point blank. A guy wanting a relationship with a woman can be hard to figure out; especially living in this time period. But if he DID, now he doesn't. But I can't say for sure that it's over (relationship wise). If you think there's another chance to fix it, you have to be stronger and not give in even if you think he wants it. Remember that most guys don't truly know what they want early in a relationship, but they know after you make a huge mistake like that. Weird huh? --- he ask for it, you give it to him --- now he don't want it (or you).
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