okay, so this really sucks and it's really hard for me to admit. I've been with my boyfriend for over four years, he's an amazing guy, good looking, great attitude about things, doesn't treat me bad at all, he's wonderful, and very good looking. The problem is that I can't get close to him. Everytime he tries to initiate sex I back off. I dry up, so to speak. I have tried everything, but something is in the way. I hate this because it's hurting him and it's hurting us. We weren't always like this. We used to be very sexually active, but it's really been the past (oh screw it) it's been like 2 years since we really have been like we used to, which I know is normal, but for the past couple of months I literally cannot have sex with him. I almost feel like my body is rejecting him. I'm not disgusted, I just have no idea what it is or what to do. And it's not just sex. Even when we're fooling around (even french kissing) I push him away. I have no attraction whatsoever. So trying new things is pointless because I'm not into anything. The last thing I want is to lose him over something like this when everything else seems so good right now. Help!!
Responses to this article:
--- Wednesday, August 25, 2004 -
Answer by: Emma
Sam's observations are very good; evidently things have changed. Your desire for him has all but evaporated & you seem unwilling to try & spice things up so... I question whether you remain in the relationship only because of his assets (good looking, great attitude that you list) & maybe, because it's the "safer" option?
You know in your heart whether you love him & if you truly do, then one would assumed you'd be more forthcoming with new ideas... seeing as though this is not only hurting him but it's damaging the entire relationship. A part of YOU has changed, this is clearly obvious.
Any physical problem is by the way since your heart & mind need to be in the relationship... maybe it would be different with someone else, only you know. Either way, like Sam hints, if you are still unwilling should things not heal themselves over time then perhaps this guy would be better suited with someone else...
Just my thoughts, All the best @:-)
--- Wednesday, August 25, 2004 -
Answer by: Sam
I don't know what's wrong... my number one guess is that you aren't in love with him anymore. Other guesses are that you may be having issues that need professional help, such as seeing an M.D. or a psychologist... I don't know if you're on meds that alter your sex drive ... but all in all it sounds like you just don't desire him anymore. It also sounds like you aren't willing to give this a try by trying to spice things up... so you just need to ask yourself if this relationship has run it's course.
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