I have liked this boy forever, I have posted about him before, we have been best friends for a long time, but we never took it to the next step until during the summer he finally came around and we dated. it was so much fun and i loved every minute of it cuz i care so much about him. well then he went a couple of trips and came back and called me, and then a week later had a change of heart. His friend said he is just going through some phase.
He has never been in a relationship before besides the one we kinda had. but nothing ever happened he had no idea what to do. He just left me hanging and i wasnt sure what to do. So i asked him if it was worth me waiting around for him, he told me probably yes he just needed sometime. and i'm all you are just telling me what i want to hear are you, he's all you should know me better than that i seldom do that. so he told me just to give him a bit.
a bit? how long is a bit? i feel like i am always waiting on him, and i can't get over him. what should i do? is it worth me waiting around? or should i move on, but if i do i have no idea how to cuz i have liked him for almost 2 years! so now it's like i'm starting over! but i really still like him! help!
Responses to this article:
--- Friday, September 10, 2004 -
Answer by: Jonathan
Hi Anonymous,
Great advice from all of you. It WOULD be wise to wait a bit longer and see what happends, but don't stick around for too long -- not long enough to meet his new girlfriend. Sorry to say but I just look at all possible ascpects in dealing with love and relations. I'm not saying that this "will happen" but you need to watch and think of it all. It's not always (if hardly ever) the guy who say "I just need some time". Not to be negative but think of it, 50/50. For now, you can only respect his wishes; though you should tell him how you really feel about him. If nothing works out soon, you might want to consider dating other people. Who knows, he might come to YOU soon after but until then you should have fun and see what else is out there.
Sorry if all don't "agree" with my advice but realize that I'm here to help and be real. I don't want to feel guilty for giving someone faulty advice. What more can I say?
Good Luck... reedplex@excite.com
--- Friday, September 10, 2004 -
Answer by: Sam
I think both Enigma and Emma give the best advice here at loveisgreat.com -- they are Gregg's little troopers! :-)
My input is somewhere in between here... I think that this kid is young, and I think he may be having some other stuff going on right now. This could explain why he doesn't seem to have time right now for a relationship. It has nothing to do with you, he probably likes your company very much. I would say that he is pulling away because he is just busy and preoccupied with life in general.
Don't worry about it so much. I know you have liked him for two years now but if you two are written in the stars -- it will happen. I say don't exactly wait around and pine for him though -- have fun with your friends and see what happens, but don't give this guy too much waiting time. I don't think a "maybe" is enough to wait for, you know? Give him a "bit" like he asked asked for, leave him alone -- don't call him and give him his space, and when HE is ready to call you, he WILL. I say after a couple weeks though, and no phone call from him -- move on. You have a life, too.
--- Friday, September 10, 2004 -
Answer by: Emma
Well, I have to disagree with you Enigma on this one - though you know how much I respect your opinion, I have a different take on things...
Okay, from what you say it's evident that you care a great deal about this guy & enjoyed immensely the time that you had when you were sort of "together". And, whilst I'm aware that you're young, new to dating even - this isn't a good enough reason to just move on with life & give up on something which could have been so good...
When you're new to romantic relationships; it can be awkward &, at times, frustrating but more often than not - how much you like each other determines whether you're going to have anything "real"... know what I mean? You like each other, you're unsure of 'how to act', 'what to do' when really you should quit thinking like that & be true to yourself... in other words don't over analyse & go with what feels right :)
It's natural but it's not reason enough to give up. Let him know how much you like him - he may not be aware, perhaps he doesn't realise you're serious about him. Give him time - not forever obviously, just a while to enable you to be more comfortable with each other - to have some flirty fun, you could call it...
You can get so easily hung up on 'what's not happening' & so on that you don't make the most of what you have. So... for now - enjoy being with him. If you both want more than friendship, it'll happen soon enough. Though, you should be able to read already if there's "anything there" & if in your heart you know there is, wait around - dating isn't a race - it's quality NOT quantity :)
Let him know how strongly you really feel & do it ASAP! Hopefully, that should turn things around. Good luck @:-)
--- Thursday, September 9, 2004 -
Answer by: Enigma
He sounds young and he isn't sure what he wants right now.
Yes you should move on... you are young and there isn't any reason to stop living on a "maybe" or "one day"
It isn't a matter of figuring out HOW to move on, it is a matter of getting out there with your friends and having a good time. If you happen to met someone that you're interested in then by all means persue it.
IF or WHEN there comes a time that this guy wants to try to date you again, then all good... that is IF you are still available, and for all you know you may have really REALLY moved on from him and be very happy with someone else who does know what they want, and that happens to be you.
LOVE QUESTIONS & ANSWERS: Love Q & A : Get your love & relationship questions answered - NEW!! Love Q&A Forum | Old Love Q&A Love Pros : Professional Help with love's challenges & relationships
