I met a guy 5 online five years ago. We instantly connected and got along great just as friends. We shared everything about each other through conversation, from our current relationships to our deepest most private secrets. We continued our relationship online for three years, chatting almost every night online thru Instant messanger and by exchanging emails. Throughout the past two years, we have exchanged phone numbers, and we have talked on the phone SO many times. This past year, he would call me EVERY day to say hi, and we'd chat more. Often he would call me up to three times a day. One day he admitted that he thought I was a awesome girl and felt as if he was falling for me. I doubted his feelings being that he had not spent anytime with me, But he was persistant in telling me that he loved me. Im a smart girl, so I was always in doubt about his feelings. He would send me emails every morning saying he missed me and loved me. He also continued to say this EVERY time he called. He is not married and supposedly not involved with anyone. He would always ask me if I missed him and how I felt about him. I was totally convinced that he was serious about his feelings for me. Just a couple months ago, we met. He came to visit me while I was working in Chicago. He came on a business trip. I found it quite strange that his hotel roommate was a girl. He said that she had a boyfriend of five years and that she was a long time friend and that the hotel booked the rooms. We hung out together all night and went to dinner. He was so polite saying he couldn't believe we were finally together and that I was so beautiful. I was still confused as to if he was sincere about his feelings for me or not. After dinner when we were walking downtown, I was just talking and he leaned over and kissed me spontaneously. This lead to further mutual things. I was scared after this how our relationship would be affected. He assured me that he would only quit speaking to me if I quit speaking to him. He asked me to call him after I left the hotel LATE that night which I never did because I knew he was tired and had meetings the next day. He called me the next day only to tell me he was going out to dinner with colleagues and that he'd call me the following day. This was over 2 months ago!!! I haven't even received an email. What happened? HE made ALL the moves that night. We didn't get into a fight. THe night was wonderful. Why haven't I heard from him? Im to afraid to contact him about this because I don't know what happened or what to say. I need some advice. I have a hard time believing that he persued me for 5 years just to get some!!
Responses to this article:
--- Monday, September 13, 2004 -
Answer by: Jonathan
Hi CFashGirl,
Great advice Enigma! This guy learned that you weren't competative with his wife/girlfriend and moved on -- end of story. Like I've said before,, people with high interest don't give you reasons to wonder about their interest. "TWO" months have passed and nothing. When he finally decides to call, e-mail me his incredible excuse so I can laugh. Who knows, maybe he really DID like you, but found that his wife/girlfriend was what he really wanted -- temporarily anyways. You wasted to much time persuing a distant relationship with someone who if of no worth. He "got some" and is back to his old life. In fact, the reason he probably treated you so nice when he was around was just TO "GET SOME." You said you were smart about doubting his feelings, and you were. But having ANY doubt should have also given you enough of a reason not to give him "some." Now watch what you'll have to go through for the next few months... What more can I say?
Good Luck... reedplex@excite.com
--- Monday, September 13, 2004 -
Answer by: Enigma
Ash,
He didn't REALLY persue you for 5 years. YES the two of you talked and from what you've said, talked a lot but that isn't really persuing someone in the true sense of the word.
He SAYS he isn't married and he SAYS he isn't or wasn't involved with anyone, however you don't know that for certain.
Did you meet the girl who was staying with him in his hotel? For real, he is suppose to be on a BUSINESS trip and for some strange reason his "friend" just happened to be coming along with him? Why? This is to be a business trip right? Then he tells you that the hotel JUST booked the room this way? I don't think so! He is full of shit!
My guess is this...... he was on a business trip and either his wife or girlfriend came with him. She maybe has friends that live there or whatever and so she was going to spend some time with them and that freed him up to spend some time with you. I'm willing to bet he told his wife/girlfriend that he had a "business dinner" the night he went out with you, just like he told you the next night so it gave him a valid excuse to get out.
The two of you hook up and one thing leads to another. He gets freaked out and then blows you off. Goes home with the wife/girlfriend and decides it isn't a good idea to contact you anymore because he has decieved you.
BE CAREFUL when you met someone online. EVEN if you've talked to them for 5 years, you STILL do not really know that person in REAL TIME.
I wouldn't contact him anymore. However don't be suprised if he contact you again.... and if he does, tell him to pound sand!
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