I have been known to like older guys, and when I say older I usually mean by like at least five years. As a 15 year old, which will be sixteen in a few weeks :-D I convinced myself that it was completly disgusting to like somebody my age. Most of the guys were immature, and they were so much better as friend material. Well my arrogant outlook did a 180 last week when this gorgeous guy walks through the door of my study hall. I admit, there are gorgeous guys my age, but this one really caught my attention. He was actually doing work! He was different than the others, he was himself and showed through his personality that he did have some goals. I eventually went up to his friend and asked about him, he gave me his name and that they were both in a group home type thing. Well that group home type thing has been known for kids that are bad. But there are exceptions since some are sent because of family issues or something. I planned it perfectly... I was going to talk to him after the weekend.
Well that so called plan went down the drain when I lost my courage. God must have been working on my side, since like after three minutes, he asked for help with his homework. After just like four problems, I felt trully amazing. This didnt even feel like a crush I get every once in awhile, it was like 'Man, this is an incredible rush my heart is having.' Even the way his eyes looked at me, it was like a shovel digging into my heart deeper and deeper. Nobody in this world has ever pulled that off, I didn't even know it existed.
Soon that escalated into a long conversation until the end of class. I learned quite a bit about him. So for Tuesday I planned to talk again, since it was a blast. The first few minutes went by slow, my friend was absent. Then out of the blue, he asks for my help again. Soon an hour goes by and we are finally finished with his homework. I have to admit, I helped quite a bit, since I've taken that class a few years ago. But the conversation that I hoped we could have afterwards didnt exist. He turned around and started completly flirting with another girl. That girl happens to be my arch enemy. Not by choice, since I hate having enemies, but she has always been unbelievably mean to me. I did get a thank you for the help but that was pretty much it. She introced herself and he even introduced himself. Something I never got, I don't even know if he knows my name.
I thought the signals I were getting were obvious. Even his friend came up to me yesterday and said how he was talking about me. Everybody in study hall said it was so obvious he liked me. But apparently the girl has so much more in common, shes been in group homes and is kinda a troublesome girl also. I'm the good girl who does her homework. It's obvious where hes going to lead.
I felt crushed. I literally stared at the clock for the last ten minutes without even looking away. For once I thought that there was a gorgeous, intelligant, polite guy that was interested in ME. At first it was unbelievable...now I just think that was all in his plan to use me to help him with his homework. I don't know what to do: play hard to get, talk to him again, help with his homework, or just move on. I really really felt something there and unlike every other relationship in my life, it could have been cool. He's my age, he lives not a million miles away, he likes me...but I'm so lost.
Please!! Help me, tell me what you would do, what kind of signal is this guy giving me? Did he use me? Help :'( Tomorrow comes way too fast
Responses to this article:
--- Tuesday, September 14, 2004 -
Answer by: Sam
You are just opening doors with this guy, so you need to give it more time. This guy isn't "with" this other girl, so learn from what she's doing in the regards that it would benefit you to be more friendly --so introduce yourself, smile, and be you. As for this other chick who's really mean to you -- it's simple psychology that explains that she obviously doesn't feel good about herself and probably envies you in some ways. Why else would she compete with you for this guy (which seems like that's what's going on)? Feel sorry for her and kill with kindness. As for this guy -- be yourself, exuberate confidence -- and DON'T expect anything. Don't worry about it so much, don't worry about that other girl -- just keep on doing what you've been doing. Continue to get to know him and if he's worth liking, he'll appreciate you and you taking the time to help him. Keep being you and show some more confidence in yourself. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders, so don't don't get so down, ok?
--- Tuesday, September 14, 2004 -
Answer by: Jonathan
Hi lovestough100,
It IS kind of hard to say whether or not he used you or was interested from the information given. But him flirting with another girl in your face was a huge red flag -- BIG turnoff. I don't think there's any good news in that; well, maybe there's a small possibility that he did it to get your attention, but that probably didn't have a thing to do with your situation, but it IS the good news you were looking for...
Give it a little more time; see who he's really interested in. It's your turn to play hard to get. Find reasons not to talk to him often, or even help him with work. If he speak to you, speak but be brief. If he's playing games, he'll soon catch on; that is unless he's "dense" as a duck --- well, there's the reason for that "group home" situation(lol). If you get any NEW red flags from this point on, end it! You heard it all.
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