Title: Lovebirds ----------> best friends, possible???

By: RussianBarbie

About 2 and 1/2 months ago, I came across this guy who's 3 yrs younger than me online. I am 24 and he's 21. Well, we bumped into one another on accident through this group for Russian kids in the NYC area just the day before I felt like canceling my membername. After reading his profile/pics, I just imed him and that started it all.

That night, we must have talked 4 hrs online about everything and anything like we knew each other for awhile already. As days would pass, we would leave each other comments on this forum, talk back and forth, after awhile call one another, and weeks later we finally met. We didn't want to rush into meeting, or at least I was very cautious of it. You know..

So anyways, as time passed, I grew attatched, and I knew he was becoming it from how he talked and such, but a part of me tried to stay distant or not let myself get too involved or even like him in that way, because I had been severely hurt my my ex 8 months ago. I didn't want to feel that pain again...

Well, I could never regret my distanceness because after dating , hanging out, talking on the phone often, and more so me argueing and knitpicking, he came to me the other night and was like, "I think we should just be friends because of the distance" It didnt really hit me till then how much I cared for him. The fact that I could possibly lose him really got me going.

That night he came to say, that in the time we knew one another, I hardly seemed like I wanted to spend time w/ him. At least, not as much as we could have, which I admit was true. I was soo deathly afraid to feel again. So, after he knew I had gotten upset and all from this, he stayed on the phone w/ me for about 4 and 1/2 hrs.
I was prob a baby at first, and said, I cant be "friends" with you, and just that esp if I feel for you. I said, "Just leave me alone, maybe then u'll realize what you had" He just kept saying "Stop stop. I'm going to come see you tomorrow no matter what...You're never going to lose me, ever."
At first on the phone, he seemed kinda distant, like didn't call me this one cute nickname anymore, but by the end of the convo, he was admitting how he wished I was there, and calling me that same sweet name again.
He said he'd call me tomm to see me, as he did.
That night, we met up half way, because I wanted to. I told him it'd be easier on him, even though he said he wanted to come to my house. After we met up, he was still kinda ehh, I mean he hugged me, but then was alittle distant again. Within some time, we had ice cream, went to a park, and things fell back right into place...That night we went somewhere, and for the first time, made love. I don't easily sleep around, so this was definitely big for me.
After we did, he hardly let me go, was soo beyond mushy, danced w/ me outside the car, held me...Everything.. i could go on...but at the end of the night, it was still somewhat the same verdict, he's afraid bc of our distance, that it would be hard for us. His past gf's all went to college with him, so they were there every single day.

How can I explain that sometimes what's more special is at a distance?
I have more to the story though.
Last night, I wanted to show him that I could come see him. So, I drove out through NYC to go visit. I didn't know what to expect. He didnt have a car that night, so we sat by his house at first. I met his mother who already knew all about me, his younger sister and older brother. We sat watched tv for a few, then he took me out to some cafe as a surpise. We had ice cream underneath this lit up heart. It was really romantic ironically..lol...Somehow at one point, he brought up that he went to a club the night before, and met diff people, and I think knew I must have been alittle bit upset from it, so I let it roll, and wasn't too attentive after that. As the night went on, the quality of the evening seemed to get so much better, not like I didn't think it was great from the beginning. We had our ice cream, went back to his house, hung out w/ his siblings. He tried to force his younger sister to make me tea since he's used to his mom making it, so I kept playfully begging him to make it for me..As he laughed, he got up and went to make me tea. Omg, it was like the sweetest thing ever. His sis even gave me a camera to take a picture, and he said "you are the first girl i've ever made tea & food for" LOL It was so cute. HE wanted to make all these things for me. We had the most fun, laughs just while he cooked, and took pictures in the kitchen.

Time, and laughs went along, and it was getting late. Even though he said we're just friends, he cuddled w/ me the whole evening, would kiss me every so often, stare at me. I told him I had to get to driving home so that I'd have enough time incase I got lost. lol

Well, that walk back to my car, and just to leave the driveway must have taken about 2 hours. We both hugged kissed, and somehow the whole thing of " oh, im just a friend?" came up again..and I said, you know.."Just leave me be" I guess I said that, because I feel like I can't be toyed with. It hurts, but maybe I'm not thinking logically because he's going back to college in the fall in upstate ny after taking a year off. So, we'd be even further apart.

He wouldn't let me leave on that note. He grabbed me, and held me, wanting to talk more. Well, after awhile, he got in my car bc it was so chilly, and we talked on and on about everything. He said that had be one of the "best days of his life", and said how strongly he feels me for me..then after he said he was falling for me, I told him, all my feelings were true, I was falling in love with him.. He grabbed me so tightly after I said it, and didn't want to let me leave. Maybe I was crazy to say it first or soon, but I felt it. Why fight it...

Basically though, through all of my ramblings he said, "I dont want you to just be my girlfriend, but my absolute best friend. Girlfriends and boyfriends come and go, but best friends are forever. I think of my best friends in a higher state than my girlfriend even. You are so amazing. I don't want to lose you ever. I'll prob see you more as best friends anyways. We'll talk and I'll always come to hang out.." I brought up kissing, and hew as like "Well it's up to you, but I'll always feel for you if I kissed you"

I mean , Is he being more logical because he's goin back to school next fall, and bc of the present distance? What's your opinions??? Please, I'm soo sorry for this being so long, but I had to get the story out... Thank u so much~!

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Monday, September 20, 2004 - What to do then?
Answer by: RussianBarbie

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Monday, September 20, 2004 -
Answer by: Enigma

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Sunday, September 19, 2004 -
Answer by: Sam