In January I posted on here after my fiance left me after 4 years. And I wasnt even looking for a relationship, it just kinda happened out of the blue. So, I met this girl in July and we have been together ever since. Well I have had feelings wanting to surface, but I keep holding back because I was hurt so bad before. Anyway this last week, her friend recently decided to move to Reno, Nevada. So they have been going out all the time. Last weekend they went to Canada, which I really dont care about to much. This weekend though they went to some college Frat parties and it really made me feel uncomfortable. And maybe I am insecure or whatever I just dont feel right with my girlfriend drinking with a bunch of drunk college guys.
Yes, we are both young, in our early twenties. But, I just dont want to feel the pain I once felt before. Once was enough, let me tell you. So, basically am I wrong for having these feelings or what? I would never dream of leaving her unless she gave me good reason to and I am trusting her. I would never tell her not to go, and I am giving her the benefit of the doubt. I know her past isnt the greatest, but I wont judge her on that. Should i just go out and do whatever myself, and see how she reacts to that. Or should i just give it time and see how things go, get to know her better and see what happens.
All I know is being crushed before changed me, and it makes it difficult to trust another person, but I realize I cant live my life that way. If any of you were in a relationship where you were exclusive with that person, would you feel okay with them going to drinking parties with the opposite sex all night long. I know how drunk guys can get and that scares me. Everyone seems diffrent drunk. We did promise to tell each other if anything ever happened, but how often do people really do? Anyway just want to hear some-ones thoughts on this....Appreciate any positive input....thanks.....Jimmy
Responses to this article:
--- Tuesday, September 14, 2004 -
Answer by: Jonathan
Hi Jimmy,
Talk to her about it. At the end of the conversation, she should end up not going. If she does go, you will be with her or "leaving" her --- end of conversation. Again, her intellectual ability also tells a good bit about her character. There really isn't much to say on this; just get straight to the point "like-a-man."
Good Luck... reedplex@excite.com
--- Monday, September 13, 2004 -
Answer by: Sam
Hey Jimmy --
While I COMPLETELY understand that she is young and wants to have fun, there also is an issue here of her behaving with class... and acting like a girlfriend to you.
My question for you is, do you really want to be with someone who parties so much? Not that I'm saying it's not normal for a girl to party at her age -- but the whole scenario of her going to frat parties, getting drunk with a bunch of college guys without you around or being invited -- that's a bit excessive of her...
I think that if she was a respectful girl who cared about you, she would ask you how you would feel about her partying at the frat houses without you -- THAT alone would say a lot about her character. I don't know if she is trustworth or not, but according to your post -- this girl is partying it up regardless of how you feel about it.
Talk to her about it, but just let her know you feel weird about her partying with strange guys -- and rightly so... there are a lot of horror stries that happen to young girls at parties.
LOVE QUESTIONS & ANSWERS: Love Q & A : Get your love & relationship questions answered - NEW!! Love Q&A Forum | Old Love Q&A Love Pros : Professional Help with love's challenges & relationships
