My girlfriend and I had always been friends since high school. I had deep feelings for her through out the years, which she was soon to find out. At first she was unsure.
well, we graduated and attended the same college. She finally considered dating me. Things started off nicely, and we gradually became more. I loved her, and she learned to love me.
We have been together now for about 3 years. We are now in our senior year in college. She will be a registered nurse, and begin her career right away. I will continue my studies at law school.
Now, there are some complications which are beginning to drive me insane. My girlfriend wants to get married once we graduate. She had always wanted to marry right after she was done with her studies. But I will be going to law school, and my studies will definitely take up a lot of my time. I mean, I love her death, but I just cant marry right now at this point in my life. We have argued about it a few times. And there are 2 sides to the whole thing.
1- I get married, have to constantly worry about school and family and all that, which will just be more pressure, i wont have time for anything
2-if i dont marry, there is a risk involved that when i go to law school, it would probably be out of state. She isnt crazy about long distance relationships, not that i dont trust her or anything, but that it would drive her crazy.
im just confused and need to sort things out before the time comes. how do you suggest I work things out? thank you
Roger
Responses to this article:
--- Tuesday, October 5, 2004 -
Answer by: Sam
Simply put: You're not ready to get married, and you shouldn't feel bad for feeling that way. It is understandable that you want to be able to take care of her and provide for her when you do the asile walk. HOWEVER -- do you plan on marrying her in the furture? If not, then you're best breaking it off so she can find the commitment she is looking for. If you do plan on marrying her in the future -- then my suggestion is to get her a promise ring. Hell, you could even get her an engagement ring as long as she understands that it will be a long engagement. Either or, whatever you're comfortable with -- as long as SHE knows that you're serious about her and your future together, by giving her a ring which symbolizes that seriousness and commitment of love. I suggest this because despite how you may feel, you need to understand where she is coming from -- she has been with you for what, three years now, and she probably doesn't want to wait around anymore just being "a girlfriend." She is ready to take that next step with you, and I think it's time you decide if you have plans on ever marrying her -- period.
--- Sunday, October 3, 2004 - ok my 2 cents...
Answer by: stiffmeis
Ok well first off you say you will need to worry about family if you marry her? Wouldn't you worry about her if you didn't marry her in your studies? Not saying to go marry her, but I don't understand that part. Also have you told her exactly that? You don't want your newly found kinship to interupt your studies? If you two were together for 3 years, couldn't she wait another year or two? I mean love has no boundaries and knows no time. The way I see it is you and her really need to sit down and talk over it, not yell and argue but talk.. This is a big step in both your lives.. Communication is the best tool I can tell you to use here.. Sounds to me there is alot of miss or non communication on both your parts... Goodluck man ~kev
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