My boyfriend and I have been together for over 3 years now...He is quite new to love and he is unsure of what love feels like. We started off as a long distance relationship, so the foundation was not solid. About a year ago, I moved to live with him. We have been having problems where he is unsure of his feelings. For the past year, both of us has been busy and we have not put in much into the relationship. Now he is saying that his feelings is gone and however we try, things would probably not work out. I love him dearly and I do not want us to be apart. How can we re-ignite the flames we had and show him that we can make it grow?
Responses to this article:
--- Tuesday, October 12, 2004 - Thanks Sam ;)
Answer by: Emma
Hey Sam - AWESOME COMPLIMENT thanks!
I must really have delivered with that last post of mine for you to have mistaken me for LovePro Goddess Enigma :)
Cheers chuck!
Emma
--- Monday, October 11, 2004 -
Answer by: Sam
I agree with Enigma... I'm reading your post and I don't get a good feeling about it all, including his behavior... it doesn't sound good when, after three years and living together for one, your guy is telling you that he isn't sure of his feelings...
I would say that he SHOULD, most definitely, after so much time and energy put into building a relationship -- he should know without a doubt how he feels about you.
Your relationship at this point sounds like it is going downhill -- but then again, I don't know your relationship -- I'm merely saying this based upon what you have told your audience in your post.
My suggestion is for you two to have a serious talk about where your relationship is going. If he is adamant on being with you still -- then go to couples counseling. Who knows -- if anything he may be in a "funk" right now and things could get better, but from what I've read, the probablility of that isn't as likely as the latter.
Sounds that he was comfertable before becaus ehe never had to see you all that much. Maybe now he's feeling crowded, but if he is he should say so. The previous poster is right, it seems that you aren't 100% interested in him right now either, so maybe break it off and have a clean break while you can. Go for a person who really loves you. It's just wierd behaviour on his part though, and I'd start questioning him on what's wrong.
Best of luck
--- Monday, October 11, 2004 -
Answer by: Emma
Okay Lost - well the first part of your post puzzles me a bit - I mean, even if he is "new to love", how can he be "unsure of what love feels like"? Surely, Love is something that you just FEEL - it's not something you have to learn or coax out of someone... Also, if either of you are "unsure" then maybe the relationship was never meant to be...
I don't mean to put a dampener on things but it's just the way things seem from what you describe. There doesn't, for example, appear to be anything there - such as a spark - a shared desire to make things work...
Your apparent lack of enthusiasm for the relationship should speak volumes; perhaps neither of you really want to be there anymore? It happens & it doesn't make either of you in any way a failure.
Often when you're used to having someone around it can be somewhat daunting to then 'go it alone' but really, a mature break is far preferable to an acrimonious separation. If you face up to things now, you could still salvage the friendship.
LOVE QUESTIONS & ANSWERS: Love Q & A : Get your love & relationship questions answered - NEW!! Love Q&A Forum | Old Love Q&A Love Pros : Professional Help with love's challenges & relationships
