I'm 19 year old college student. I've never been in a relationship or had a girlfriend before, but am looking for one. Last year fall, I started liking this girl that was in one of my classes. After a while, I started hanging out with her through my other friends and became sorta close to her. but after winter vacation, I found out that she was seeing someone, BUT things were'nt going too well between them. I still was devastated. I just couldnt take it anymore and decided to tell her how I feel. her response was really weird and ambiguous...she said something like "I'm not sure if I like you yet, but I like what I've seen so far..." and I was alittle confused, but she said she's still seeing this other guy so that was all she could say at the time.
After while they ended up breaking up and she told she doesnt want a relationship at that time. during the summer I didnt get to see her at all since her home is pretty far away, so i decided i should just get over her and move on.I tryed everything i could think of like checking out some other girls and meeting new people, but none of them worked. I still missed her. after summer, I started hanging out with her and her friends again, and one night asked her how she felt about me now. she said she only sees me as a friend. but when i asked her "does that mean there's no chance for me at all?" and her response was " well.....I wouldnt want you to wait...." and again I am confused.
I'm really getting confused on what to do. does she have feelings for me or not? should I wait or should I move on? and if so, how? any advise would be great. Thanks
Previous posters have valid points, but maybe she still isn't over her ex. It all depends on how long they were going out, etc. But some people take a while to get over relationships, and the way she said she wouldnt want you to wait made me think it's this rather than her not being interested. HOWEVER, it's probably not worth your time waiting for her to get over this whole thing. It'd be best to move on.
--- Wednesday, October 20, 2004 -
Answer by: Emma
Sam's right, ya know - if she really did dig you then she'd be with you right now... there'd be no "not yets", no "not sures"...
It's tough to take since it sounds as though you like her a lot but I think you already know that you could be waiting around forever & she'd still keep you hanging on... which I reckon is unfair & pretty selfish, but hey, it's not the end of the world so long as you come to terms with accepting her feelings/behaviour... you pick yourself up & you dust yourself off.
Try harder at taking your mind off her, try harder at meeting new people... the right person will come along then you'll look back on all of this & laugh, I promise :)
Best of luck!
--- Tuesday, October 19, 2004 -
Answer by: Sam
You have been having trouble moving on because you're not over her yet. It takes time... keep going out and meeting new people. Keeping busy is the best thing you can do at this time. Eventually you'll forget about her. My interpretation of the situation is that she may have thought you were attractive and may have liked who you were as a person -- but she didn't feel the chemistry. It has to be "there" for a person to have total interest. It's not just about looks and personality, she has to "feel" the attraction for you. So... she's not interested. Ok... so that should give you the incentive to shrug your shoulders and move on. Don't let it get to you so much -- this sort of thing happens in life. You will meet the right person when the time is right -- and love usually happens when you least expect it. You'll be ok.
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