Title: in love with someone I can never have

By:

There is a girl in my school who goes by the name of josephine.

she is not like the others, has high morals, loves reading, yet she always seems to separate herself from the others. She has little to no friends. Yet she gets along well with our classmates. She is poetic, a fantastic writer, yet she can sometimes be modest. she dresses differently from the others, lacking the superficial sense of style everyone else seems to have. Some think her to be psychotic, yet she is just as normal as you and I. she is a cheerful person

She is a very religious person. Keep in mind that we attend a public school. we are both juniors and 16 years old.

For the last quarter of last year, she was new to our school, new to everyone, people thought her irritating. I myself, thought so as well. Ignorance.

The beginning of this year I had a whole different view of her. I began to take notice of her cute little quirks, her beauty which had not captured my eye til recently.

I had written a paper, and my topic was love. i wrote about the subject with so much enthusiasm. in class the students exchanged papers to be critisized by the others. i had given it to one, and without me knowing it he had given it to Josephine.

upon getting my paper back, i read her comments, all of which were positive, as i remember her first words on the paper, "that was lovely!"

i realized i had developed a crush on her and told my friends, most of which complained. yet i didnt care. my first attempt to ask her out was sort of like a group date to the movies. i didnt make it clear to her that it was going to be a date, just a friendly thing, hoping to get to know eachother better. she had turned it down telling me she preferred to spend time on the weekends with her family.

a little later that day, after lunch upon arriving to my 5th period class, she called over to me and asked me if it was me who had written that essay. we barely knew eachother. well after telling her it was me, she told me how much she had loved it, as she put her hands over her heart. i told her that i liked hers too, which she had read aloud in class. she seemed to light up.

the next day, she had made a card for one of the teachers whose wife was in the hospital. she wanted people to sign the card and write somethin nice. i am an artist so i had drawn a little somethin on the card. she asked me if i was in art and wat not. we talked a little bit.

well, the following week, i had asked her if she had a screen name because i wanted to get to know her better. she didnt give it to me right there because she had to catch her bus.

the next day i was planning on asking her out, just telling her that i was interested. well, during lunch she was in a classroom reading. i had come into class pretending i was there for other reasons, yet i had no way of approaching josephine without feeling like a fool

just then, one of my friends walked in. she had put her stuff down for a second. i said hello to her, and she said hi as well, she took notice of josephine sitting down in class and pulled in closer to me. "she has a crush on you, " is wat my friend told me. i was surprised. i asked her wat she had said. she told me that josephine had asked her about me, and told her that she was interested in me. my friend then walked out shortly after.

i approached josephine, and we talked throughout lunch. we got to know eachother better, and she gave me her email address, which she wrote on my hand.
i had asked her if she wanted to do anything the following day, but she said she wanted family time. i respected that.
i didnt tell her i liked her, and didnt bring up anything on her liking me. we were just friends, and thts wat we each thought the other one was thinking.

over a short period of time i fell in love with her. we have so much in common, and we seem perfect for eachother. and we understand eachother. so the time comes when i finally ask her out. it was in class, during our reading period. the teacher was strict about the whole thing. so i had written a note and handed it to josephine,

this it wat it said-

i know the teacher wont let us talk, but i just have to say this.
i think youre cute, and i would like to go out with you sometime. so wat do u say?

she read it and wrote back quickly-
ill write you when i get home. thanks.

she handed me back the paper, and i replied ok and drew a little smiley face and handed it bak to her which made her giggle. i doubted she would say no. afterall my friend had told me tht she liked me.

tht night i experienced such horrible heartbreak. She emailed me and told me the following-

ok. before I say anything else I should say this, I'm practicing to become a nun. So you absolutely should not  plan on falling in love with me in the future or anything. You weren't the only one who thought we should get to know each other better.
If you could keep a secret I would greatly appreciate it (please)
Your friend,
Josie
P.S It's not a joke. 
 
Every one starts writing that way in the beggining, then your imagination gets so crazy you can't decipher what you wrote afterwards. What I mean is, the story moves a lot faster than the pen. I've written all my life. It used to be everything to me. I'll see you tomorrow.

I know it's not very well written but I'd rather leave it bare. There are things which will remain cheesy,
 
And what is the rest?
I attempt at truth
Should truth get dressed
 
(That's a line from on of my old poems,  it popped up. I wonder where I put them all)
In the end there are only a few things which are true and all the things we've relied on became dust. In the end too many ideas came from men who decided they could never make it into the hearts of people and so...forced themselves into their minds. Selfish men who did not care for the people and would only pretend to be men worthy of praise. Always seeking praise. People who will not be remembered tenderly are fallen into history.
In the end the truest things, are the ones every one seems to ignore. They cannot be found in books.
 I know the writing sucks , I'll put more thought into it next time.
Take care of your family. Love,
Josie

A nun. she was practicing to become a nun. God and i love her

I just dont know wat to do. its now too late. if i had known before, then i would have stepped back alittle. althougth now i feel trapped.
the next day, she siad to me 'did u get my email, o now u understsand y i cant??" i just said yeah.

i was so hurt. but wat confuses me most is tht she goes off telling my friend tht she "is interested in me".

sometimes i feel like God is just toying with me. please i feel like i cant even move on. wat do i do??
thank you

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Tuesday, October 26, 2004 - in love with someone I can never have
Answer by: bryanz da bomb

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Thursday, October 21, 2004 - sucky.
Answer by: mistified

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Thursday, October 21, 2004 -
Answer by: Emma

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Wednesday, October 20, 2004 -
Answer by: stiffmeis

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Tuesday, October 19, 2004 -
Answer by: Sam

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Tuesday, October 19, 2004 -
Answer by: Enigma

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Tuesday, October 19, 2004 -
Answer by: stiffmeis