This isn't a question as such but something I'm interested to hear about, well 2 things aactually :
1st off, theirs many of truisms, a lot of who i personally believe are just there to help people heal, as comforting words, but out of all the truisms, such as "if you love someone set them free" (though you could argue aswell that if you love someone you'll fight to the end to get them, if you leave them you may never get) .. though i guess in a sense it shows that their love isnt real & whats a relationship without love both ways?
Also, the second one is, I'd be really interested to hear of any storys from people, who have thought deep down, that theirs no chances of anything happening, reconciling etc... & thats all turned round & things have been there (in other words is their hope at all times? or is their a point when you really need to give in)
I suppose some of these things will help put things into a bit of perspective to me (though dont get me wrong, i'm not being negative towards my situation, it's not at that stage at the moment, it's not at any stage), but i know that a lot of people must come to this site to read aswell & i believe these kinda things are interesting to people who are healing, or who are just genrally intersted in any other love storys with happy endings, would be pretty interesting for me to read personally anyway, so does anybody have any good storys here, lighten up the board a bit eh from all the hurt going on in the world :)
Responses to this article:
--- Wednesday, October 27, 2004 -
Answer by: lookinforlove
Nice story, Emma :)
--- Sunday, October 24, 2004 -
Answer by: Emma
Well, I personally, don't have any stories. Really! I've only had one boyfriend & we're together but in regards to your second point about situations where it was, at first, thought that there was no hope I can dig out a story of a close friend of mine who thought her guy would never overcome his inability to express his feelings & make her feel loved & that the relationship would never get another chance. Here it is -
A friend of mine - we'll call her Sarah, began a relationship with a guy who she thought lived up to everything she was looking for. Intelligent, awesome sense of humour & considerate with "beautiful eyes" - his name was Adam. Sarah & Adam were teen sweethearts who began dating when they were just 17. Like many young adults of their age people thought it wouldn't last.
Despite the lack of public affection we all kind of knew that Adam & Sarah were very much in love. Neither of them were overly big on cuddling, nor did they hold hands much - it was just "the way they were", no big deal.
So we all got to 20 & a few couples were getting engaged, it wouldn't have been unusual for Sarah & Adam to follow suit but somehow during the end of the last three years they had grown apart - we all noticed it.
Having sat & talked to Sarah over a glass of wine one evening it became apparent that despite, Sarah's exterior's facade she desperately craved loved from Adam, loved which, until then, we assumed was happening when everyone wasn't around. They were both the quiet types so really, this wasn't an issue.
Anyway, the deal was that Sarah couldn't take it anymore. BIG shock for me, we always thought they had it nailed! So the low-down was the relationship was soon to be over. She had, apparently, tried to make Adam see that he wasn't affectionate enough, that he didn't make her feel loved but although, she suspected he may have felt it deep down, he'd never let it surface.
So after 7 months of being apart neither of them dated anyone else, in fact we were all waiting with baited breath for a reconciliation but nothing happened. We saw less & less of Adam & more & more of a miserable Sarah. She missed him, that much was evident, but she couldn't bear to stay in a relationship without what she needed.
After another 4 months, I think it was, Sarah had a devastating horse riding accident. She was an accomplished rider, no novice but somehow the horse threw her off &, we believe later, trampled on her as she lay dazed. I was there at the time but wasn't close enough to tell you exactly what had happened, I just knew the injuries were severe.
She spent what felt like years in intensive care & we never thought she'd pull through or if she did, it would be a life which wasn’t worth living. We visited everyday, praying by her beside for our friend Sarah to come back but to no avail. After a while, it felt pointless then one day I visited a little later, than I normally did & bumped into none other than Adam. Considering we hadn't seen him in a number of months he seemed to have aged years... we had no idea why this was.
Anyway, Sarah had been improving slightly over the last couple of weeks which we had put down to the prayers & excellent treatment. We didn't know that over the last two weeks Adam had begun visiting his Sarah.
I can only describe this as a miracle, when Adam was talking to her, Sarah's eyes flickered. No one could comprehend that after so long, she would make any progress at all. She was pulling through for him, that much was evident...
After months of treatment she was beginning to look "on the mend", don't get me wrong we knew she'd never be as good as new - I just knew we had Sarah back - that was all that mattered. Adam has been there every step of the way, quite literally & after the dust had settled & they got back together we learnt that Adam's 'inability' to give Sarah the love she craved had something to do with him caring for his terminally ill mother.
To think, we all cursed him for letting such a wonderful girl down, we all berated him for giving up on a potentially great relationship... while all the time he was dealing with his own trauma but was totally torn because, for reasons we'll never truly understand, he didn't feel able to tell Sarah the truth.
Now they have been engaged for two years & Sarah is stronger everyday. They are just like any other couple, very much in love & very open with their affection. The only thing they regret now is the time they wasted. Now every moment is precious & I look forward to the wedding.
I wanted to tell it like a story (I've always been into writing) but every word is true.
I guess it goes to show that no matter how bad things may seem they could always be a lot worse. Also, what appears to be on the surface can sometimes be very different to what's happening on the inside. Communication is the key! If Adam was more open, if he had put his feelings first they might have spent the whole time together...
It's got a happy ending - just remember it shouldn't take a tragedy to make you change the here & now... Live for today because life really is too short...
LOVE QUESTIONS & ANSWERS: Love Q & A : Get your love & relationship questions answered - NEW!! Love Q&A Forum | Old Love Q&A Love Pros : Professional Help with love's challenges & relationships
