I had previously posted that Missy told me she was in love with me and all. I have recently discovered that she is nothing but a fake. I feel tremendously hurt, but I feel more anger and resentment towards her. A few weeks back, I had received an IM from her ex. I dont know how he got my screenname, i figure he probably saw it from her computer or something. At that point they were close friends. It didnt bother me. Nothing did. I felt good.
Well, he IMed me and tried to curse me out or whatever, i dont know. I ignored it. Yet there was always the question in my mind as to why she and him broke up. She never really made that clear to me always telling me that she just lost interest in him.
Well today, I was curious, I wanted to know why, and I wanted to know what she was like through one of her ex's eyes.
I created another sn for myself, so he wouldnt know it was me.
Well, this was the conversation, what follows is what I never expected, one thing just lead to another-
josh: whos this?
me: my names matthew
me: um
josh: o hey
josh: u imed me earlier
me: yea
me: about tht
me: um im a sophmore
me: and well i heard u used to go out with melissa
josh: missy?
josh: ya
me: yeah
me: i have a crush on her
josh: and
josh: lol cool
me: is she hooked up with anyone
josh: idk...i dnt talk 2 her nemore
me: ??
me: really how come
josh: well no offense...but shes fake...a liar...a whiner...and the most dishonest grls ive ever met
me: really?
josh: do i kno u at all? Matt coll?
me: hmm?
josh: ya really
me: how do u come to tht conclusion, like wat did she do
josh: bunch of reasons that u woulnt understand because u dnt kno wat went on between us...but the main one is that she tells me we r friends n all that shit...and i told her that i just wanted 2 hang out with her once b4 i leave 4 good in june....and she keeps sayin yes...but she really doesnt wanna...but w/e
me: so she like just ignores u??
me: damn imm sorry
me: so u just ended it for good between u 2
josh: pretty much ya
josh: and then there is the whole steph thing
me: ??
josh: but thats a whole other story
josh: who is this?
me: matthew
me: i told u
josh: ya...but how did u get my sn...missy?
me: wait yea i know, her best friend stephanie wats up with tht
me: oh a friend of urs
me: forgot his name tho
me: wat steph thing
josh: ooo
josh: well
josh: they r friends and i had a small crush on steph and missy sorta knew it...and everytime i ever asked or talked bout her...missy would get pissed and snappy at me.....and i can c y i guess....but shes the one who asked one of my bestfriends 2 prom 2 weeks after we split
Me: oh
josh: but he was actually a friend and said no...but she continued with it this summer and tried 2 get him
josh: ya
me: does she still like him
josh: she'll like nebody at first who gives her attention...as long as ur a star fball player or bball player..or popular
me: hm
me: damn
me: how poplar is she
me: popular
josh: well a lot of ppl kno who she is...mainly bcuz she just tries 2 get with ppl who r pop....so she can b...but a lot of ppl feel the way i feel...but who knows...she could of changed
josh: lol
me: hmm
me: wen u guys were together, like wat went on
josh: wat u mean?
me: like were there problems between u 2 or wat
josh: every now and then
me: like wat, dont mean to be nosy or anythin
josh: i'd wanna hang out...n she wouldn't ever....never would we hang out unless she had absolutly nothing 2 do
josh: then she'd make room 4 me....only if it involved goin out and spending my fuckin money....she'd bitch if i wanted 2 come over and chill
josh: how do u know her? n howd u get my sn?
me: i have english class with her
me: and i got ur sn from a friend of urs
josh: o coculo?
josh: who/
Me: damn
josh: wat was his sn?
me: forgot his name
me: no
me: thing was this
me: i saw him talkin to u one day and i had known tht u had gone out with missy, and i just told him i needed to talk to u so he gave me ur sn
josh: o
me: yep
josh: well do u smoke or nething?
me: no
me: y
josh: i was jw...cuz thats who she always likes 2 chill with
me: the smokers??
josh: i dnt either n she'd always make fun of me for it
me: oh
me: does she smoke
josh: ya...the only reason she went out with is cuz i was pop n played ball
josh: ya
me: she smokes??
josh: ya
josh: surprising huh?
me: yea
me: has she ever had sex
josh: nope
josh: she wouldnt let me after 4 fuckin months...mainly bcuz she never liked me...she just liked my popularity with bball
me: woundt let u wat
josh: fuck her
me: oh
Me: and u wanted to rite
Me: did u ever finger her or anythin
josh: ya
josh: ya
Me: wat about oral
josh: ya
me: she blew u
Me: did u eat her out
josh: no...ya
Me: oh
Me: damn
Me: is she slutty
Me: ??
josh: not at all
Missy: is she a good student
josh: ya
Me: damn and she smokes
Me: wat other sexual things has she done do u know
josh: ya sometimes..shes not like a druggy
Me: but y
josh: shes done everything but sex...y do u care??
Me: idk
Me: so shes given oral before Me: man shes so different than i thought
josh: ya...shes really secure about how ppl think bout her
josh: but shes diff outta school
Me: how so
Me: ?
josh: like ive been tellin ya
Me: oh
Me: how long has she been smoking
josh: couple years i think...maybe 3
me: wow
josh: shes not a druggy tho...she just does it when shes with her druggy pals
me: oh
josh: n she probly gives em head for all i kno
Me: so shes not addcited
josh: nah
me: ok
josh: dnt get me wrong...overall shes a good person...i just get pissed cuz how she treated me n how much fuckin pain shes put me thru in the last yr...if u like her go for it....hopefully u have better luck than me....i loved her n she fuckin treated me like shit
josh: lol
Me: im sorry man
josh: lol np
Me: it just sruprises me to know all the things she has done
Me: has she ever done drugs
josh: ya same here
josh: ya...lol thats wat ive been tellin ya
Me: oh
josh: n she'll tell ya that she doesnt..that shes only done it 2 times...then 3...then 4....she just lies bout it
me: man
Me: but at least shes not addicted to anyof tht
josh: nah...just lying
josh: lol
me- wadaya mean just lying?
josh- shes addicted to lying
Me: but y does she hang out with those peope
josh: cuz shes so insecure bout herself...she needs 2 chill with somebody pop so she feels better bout herself
me: man
me: well shit i dont know wat else to say
me: so u dont consider her relationship material at all
josh: well...for me...she just wanted 2 go out with me for show...she wanted ppl 2 kno we r going out...but she didnt wanna put effort into it...so idk
me: oh
me: does she go for personality at all cuz i aint the best lookin of guys
me: ?
josh: idk...my guess would b popularity is wat she looks at...but i really dnt kno
me: yea
me: well i gotta go
me: it was good talking to u
Me: thnks
josh: lata
josh: np
me: bye
I am literally falling apart, I am shaky as I type this, my eyes are red, my heart is pounding harder than ever before. my head aches. and i feel the worst pain in my chest. as though i was stabbed in the heart.
Missy is someone I never thought she was. She lacks respect for herself, something I always believe she had. She seems to be going around doing watver she wants. she smokes, something i would never be able to tolerate. God, I remember when I first spoke to her over the phone. We talked about smoking and drugs, how they were stupid and all. Now look at her. she has completely contradicted herself. She tells me about the drug problem they have in there school, telling me that she doesnt do anything. What a lie. It is so painful.
For all I know, she was probably lying to me about loving me. The way she treated her ex shows it. Never over the course of these 2 years did I see Missy taking her part in these acts. And it is someone I could never see myself spending the rest of my life with. True she is young, ignorant. But ignorant enough to disrespect her own body??
She is superficial, and insecure, always concerned about what others think of her. It makes me think about everything ive put my heart into just for her. The “angel”. 2 years, it feels like an eternity wasted. she in reality is all i have never wanted in a girl. Worst thing is I still love her. I still feel that flame there. Surrounded by hatred and disgust. I feel like I just want to let her go completely. Release her from my life, so I can look back years from now and laugh. I know now that I dont want to be with her. Yet it hurts me still so much to even think of all she has done. She has lied to me about the person she truly is. Why?? I have no clue. Funny thing about the distance between us. It made me depict her as the perfect being. I remember I used to think we were “perfect for each other” I used to think we were meant to be together. But without actually being there, I cannot see her faults, I only see what is good about her, all of which seem to be false as well. Thus the perfect girl.
And who is to blame for all this. Certainly not her parents. I know them to be loving people. Society itself. It has changed so much within the range of just 50 years. I wasnt alive then, I know, but I can tell things were much more different then than they are now. People respected themselves. And all of todays influences, movies, music, tv, and the like, all about drugs and sex. What message does that send out to our youth? What does it encourage them to do? Exactly what Missy has done. It sickens me.
I know I cannot say a word to her about this. But I dont even know if I should hang on to her even as a friend, if she isnt going to be honest with me. I dont know what to do I feel I have reached a dead end in my life. I have to start anew. But Ill have to leave that for another day, because I fear of all this pain jumping at me once more. The girls in my school, if they had more respect for themselves then maybe i could start anew from there. But they just arent wat I desire. It seems like life has played its game with me. I feel as though I am being toyed with by God. please I just need some opinions. What do I do, do i let her go from my life completely, if so how do i go about it? i feel like dying. Help me please thank you.
Andres
Responses to this article:
--- Monday, November 1, 2004 -
Answer by: Sam
Andres, I think you are blowing this way out of proportion. Are you really willing to throw everything you and Missy have been through away, just because an ex of hers said some bad stuff about her? I mean, how do you know what he is saying is honest?
As for Missy, maybe trying the pot and cigarettes was just to experiment... maybe she was just curious to see what the hype was all about... and who knows, maybe she really is against smoking and drugs now, especially since she's tried them herself and realized how bad they are, know what I mean? People learn through experiences, and that may have been just an experiemental phase for her. Secondly, man I know that you feel a bit betrayed here... but cut the girl some slack. I think you were honestly in the wrong for getting info about her behind her back like that, and you are expecially in the wrong for judging her now. You broke the trust between you two. I'm not condoning the lies she may have told you, I'm just saying here that you don't know if what that Josh dude said was true or not. For all you know he could just be hurt and spewing lies himself about her. As for her perfect image, dude -- is she a teenager? I think you said she was -- well let me explain something to you, teenagers make mistakes, and that is how they learn and grow as adults. Honestly, it shouldn't matter WHAT she has done -- if you truly love who she is you would not hold those things against her -- some of those things are very personal and she may be very ashamed of them and didn't want you to know because she wanted you to think she was perfect because she deeply cares what you think of her... see where I'm getting at? Missy is human, a teenage girl. She is going to make mistakes in life and she is going to make poor decisions at times. What matters is if she learns from those mistakes and rises above it all. That is her business, not yours.
I think you should forget everything that guy told you. What you both did was not fair to her, and an invasion of her trust.
--- Sunday, October 31, 2004 -
Answer by: Emma
Lady tee, if it is too long for you to read - why not just ignore it? Smart Alec comments only succeed in dissuading people from posting their problems, if you're a regular here you may know already that we have been following Andres' situation & offering our input when he's needed it so for people who care, it is not too long.
Phew! That outta the way Andres I must first agree with how society has changed. Here in the UK, the youth are exacerbating a culture of casual sex, binge drinking & unemployment. I just hate it when young decent people are tarnished with the same brush, but I agree the message is to go out there & partake in immorality, excess, & disrespect of your own bodies. It's everywhere you turn, TV, films - everywhere.
I feel your pain though, Andres. It must be heartbreaking to hear someone speak of someone you love this way, to hear what she has supposedly been up to - but this isn't concrete since you're not hearing it from her are you? I understand, this being her ex you were chatting with & he'd most likely tell you the truth but on the other hand might he not paint some seedy picture of her because she dumped him &, for some guys, being dumped means revenge - be it spreading rumours or whatever else. If the split was acrimonious, as it sounds, then perhaps her activities have been exaggerated somewhat... just a thought.
Trust is one of the foundations for a happy relationship & as things are you trust her even less after this conversation. Happen, this guy's lying & you accuse her of all sorts - what then? Your feelings are too strong to just cut all contact, the relationship you had deserves more - you told each other you loved the one another, admittedly your words were genuine for hers I cannot account... but you don't throw those words around in conversation likely do you? She'd have to be everything you've "found her out to be" & a whole lot more to treat you like that... could you really be that bad a judge of character??!!
To hear that you feel like dying worries me so much! NOTHING is ever so bad that you'd rather die over it! You have so much to live for, so much love to give & I know from this guy's words your head's reeling with all manner of pain & distress but you need to take a step back & take some deep breaths... what do you know for sure here? Have you SEEN her doing drugs? Have you SEEN her staggering about acting provocatively with guys? Let's not jump to the wrong conclusions on a whim...
Begin by trusting her, that way you won't blow something good by making false accusations... give her the benefit of the doubt. Ask her about these things. Tell her, you've it heard from other people & you're worried... get more opinions; don't just fly off the handle.
At the end of the day, Andres - if she's a fake - which seemed so very unlikely from what you described before, everything she loses is her loss. She'll use so many people, she'll be the one ending up alone & it'll be a tough lesson to learn when she has no one to use anymore & those she used in the past, don't want to know... won't be so popular then will she?
God made it clear that life wouldn't be easy. It was clear that it'd be full of tests & challenges but you are strong, much stronger than you're giving yourself credit for & if Missy turns out to be this fake, He'll bring you someone decent, someone loving, someone just like you who has gone through the same preparation you're going through now - then you will look back & laugh :D
Andres, stay strong. Talk to Missy; tell her you're worried, if it all falls on deaf ears talk to others if you have to. Just don't take one guy's opinion, especially when he was the injured party. Emotions can run riot when you've been hurt, you can say so many things you don't mean in the heat of the moment so make sure you go about this the right way :)
Keep us all posted... no matter how long the post we care. Talk to Missy as soon as you can & remain level-headed. I, personally, always give people the benefit of the doubt...
Good luck, Andres - I pray this is all lies -
--- Sunday, October 31, 2004 - This is crazy!!!!
Answer by: lady tee
This is crazy!!!!!! Who wants to read somthing this long??? I just stop reading.
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