Title:
Will and age difference affect our relationship?
By: ReBeLGRL7
My boyfriend and I have been going out for a year and 2 months now...I love him, VERY, VERY much!!! And I know he loves me a lot too. But I worried that the age difference will affeact our relationship! See Im 13 and Hes 17! He has NEVER taken advantage of me, and Im positive he NEVER will. But Im afraid he will realize that I just some little kid he met on a church camping trip. Is it likly for this to happen!?!?
Responses to this article:
--- Friday, October 15, 2004 -
Answer by: Emma
Kev, I respect your opinion but I'd like to add one more thing...
Generalisation can be a harmful thing - on young people especially. You know, all through my teens I wasn't promiscuous, in fact I didn't even have a boyfriend! Okay, so I'm a lady but friends of mine now, who are guys, who were decent at 17 are still decent 'marriage material' now... in their early twenties.
Many people don't give young people a chance because of what they see from the 'majority'... it's a real shame.
I do hear what you're saying though which is why I did express some caution, as did Jonathan. But it all depends on the individuals involved & it would be wrong of me to assume that because a young man is 17 he's gonna want sex from whoever he's decided to be with.
Contrary to popular belief & disrespecting the very real fact that, especially here in the UK, we have a problem with today's youth, their culture & the ever increasing sexually transmitted infections we're seeing! There are still PLENTY of decent young people out there with high standards & morals who all too often get tarnished with the same brush...
Always be cautious, obviously, just weigh up the situation & the intentions of any person you're considering entering a relationship with... then you can't go wrong!
*hugs to everyone* :)
--- Thursday, October 14, 2004 -
Answer by: stiffmeis
I'm gonna go ahead and disagree with the other two, now this doesn't happen too much but I do think it is a problem. I mean seriously what is a 17 year old going out with a 13 year old? I mean that seems like a pretty large gap for your age.. Now I am 19, and well I know what MOST 17 year olds think and it isn't anything like "I wanna get married, and be with her the rest of my life". Now I'm not saying end the relationship or stop seeing him or that he's a bad guy, it's just I don't see this relationship working out in the long term.. Let me just ask you, did he just turn 17? I mean thats like him being a freshman and you being in 5th grade, that's kinda wrong I think. I dunno mabe it's just me, and I'm one of the younger ppl here. I do think it is wrong, just keep you're sense up, people change when they get older and I'm sure you and him both will. goodluck ~kev
--- Thursday, October 14, 2004 -
Answer by: Jonathan
Hi RebelGRL7,
First of all, you're using the word "love", which changes the entire meaning of your relationship with this guy. But if he LOVES you "VERY, VERY" much (as you've mentioned), you should have no reason to question his future interest -- after all - he LOVES you; right? < I'll ONLY go by what "you" tell me -- what YOU say is true.
Realize that at his age, his feelings toward you are probably pretty stable. Who knows; at night he probably wonders if you'll lose interest in him, being that you are younger and young peoples interest in a mate DO tend to fluctuate as they mature -- they can be fickle. Alot of young people end up taking this route because they end up desiring someone young and active, who likes to do things people in their age category like to do. Older people spend more time communicating and hanging out with each other ALONE -- if not being intimate (sexually) with their partner, which is something you're definately not ready for. I'm not saying that all older people have a strong crave for sex but they are guaranteed to get there before you -- trust me.
I'd say he really likes (love) you if he's willing to go out with you at your young age - chosen over girls in his age category; don't you think? Add to that,, he's been with you for over a year. What more can "I" say? Well, I can give you all the facts. One of them is that girls (or even women) around his age probably WILL be appealing to him; I mean, why wouldn't they be? However, I don't think you should put so much emphasis on these things -- be optimistic.
But as for the little age gap thing, I don't think it really matters if he's a good guy, though facing ridicule can be a bytch. Alot of people face it in this kind of relationship, which can be a weight that slowly pulls you two apart. You heard it all...
Good Luck... jonathanreed@excite.com
--- Thursday, October 14, 2004 -
Answer by: Emma
Well ReBeLGRL7 - only you know this guy & us guessing how his mind works is pointless...
This 'age difference', if you were in your early twenties would be NOTHING - people are in relationships where there are DECADES worth of difference...
But I trust when you say he's a decent guy otherwise I would be seriously questioning his motives. You suggest this relationship is non-sexual which I also take at face value, just bare in mind that such intimacy (for it to be truly special) requires maturity & whilst I'm not saying you're not level-headed I think you're mature enough to realise how important it is to wait for relationships to be ready for this (ideally 'til you're married)...
That out the way... enjoy the relationship whilst you're together. What more can I say? He's with you & has been for the past year so your age can't bother him so have fun while it lasts - remember to always have confidence, he's a lucky guy right?
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