I'm debating whether to make a move and show my feelings for a guy friend of mine. Since this summer we have become very good friends. Deep down I've always had a crush on him. As of the last month I feel like I'm falling hard for him. Everything he says or does, I love and the more time I spend with him, the more I am liking him. I think he is starting to feel the same.
We send these very flirty text messages back and forth, but that's basically been it. We have been hanging out by ourselves about once a week, but nothing's happened. Once about a month ago he gave me a hug goodbye, but usually we go somewhere and I drop him back off at his house.
I want something more to happen, but I'm scared to make a move because for one I've never had a boyfriend or been kissed, which I know is pathetic and second I don't know exactly how he feels and I don't want to ruin the friendship. Any advice? Should I ask him how he feels? Is there anything I can do to find out how he feels without asking or making a move? What should I do? Please help!
Responses to this article:
--- Saturday, November 6, 2004 -
Answer by: Emma
First off Summer, not having had a boyfriend is NOT & I repeat NOT "pathetic". In fact, regardless of whether you think people might view this as just that, decent people, people worth being around will see you as someone who expresses self-control, someone with higher standards & more importantly, not as someone who HAS to have someone in their life because they are so terribly insecure about themselves... this is true, believe me - so you go girlfriend!
My advice, well... you could go on with the "just friends" routine, you could carry on guessing how he's feeling, you could keep posting here with accounts of his behaviour, you could wait around on him to make a move but really you should be posting, updating us with news of your new guy. All of the other options waste too much time.
If he didn't feel the same, you could have spent many more months wanting to be with him when all along you really are "just a friend". D'oh! However, as I've always suspected, he's probably thinking the exact same thing - is too afraid to spoil the friendship & all in all, confused about the relationship you have right now.
The bottom line is - do people send flirty text messages to members of the opposite sex who are "just friends"...? Nope, I didn't think so either...
Really girl, you two sound close so you should feel at ease telling him stuff. Sure, it's nerve-racking but think of the relief when you're a couple or, when you know for certain how he feels. All this guessing doesn't amount to much, does it?
Talk to him, the next time you're hanging out, tell him you really see him as more than a friend - & yes, ask him how he feels about you. This is the only way you're going to find out what's going through his mind. You've been trying the subtle hints for months & believe me; if they didn't work the first time around they won't work the next time you try 'em out. It calls for a more direct approach!
Be brave, take a deep breath & have some confidence. You CAN do this, you can get this guy, you can be loved by someone - just because you haven't experienced this before bares absolutely no influence over how things go with this particular guy. You gotta start somewhere.
Go find some happiness for yourself Summer, life's too short to waste time. You can miss out on so very much. Take a chance, that's how we get what we want in life :)
Best of luck! I'm rootin' for ya girl! As always, keep us posted! -
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