Title:
Fallen to pieces, but rising up again-Andres
By:
Well, I was right she is a fake. I know, it was wrong of me to get nosy, and Im sorry, I guess I deserved to suffer the pain of finding out the truth. But Its better that I dont have to suffer in the future, I guess at the same time I was saving myself.
I had called her up on her cell phone, and some guy picked up. I asked who it was and he said, "Saul," "Saul?" "yeah.. her bf" I said to him that missy had never mentioned anything about him to me. He didnt even know who I was, and told me to fuck off and hung up. Later that night I called her up at home. I told her about my little converation with Saul. She sounded kind of nervous. I asked her why she lied to me, why she told me she loved me. Everything was a fucking act. She eventually came out with it and told me they had been going out through the summer, and have been together since july. She told me she got tired of me telling her I loved her all the time, that it was getting on her nerves. she just lied to me so that I would "shut up". I let everything out right there, I was soooo mad. I was in tears, and she was trying to calm me down at some point, but then I told her that I didnt need her sympathy. "you know what? your'e right, we dont really know eachother." I hung up without saying another word. And I havent spoken to her since. This was on Saturday.
Everything she has said to me are all lies. But you know what, I realize now that I dont need her, that I can live my life without her. I feel the biggest void in my heart, but I dont want to love her anymore. it has been so long. but i just dont care anymore. I will not call her again. Im just gonna see if she ever calls me. Then I'll see what she has to say. But it wont matter. She played games with my heart. Like the old Zeppelin song goes, "Go away heartbreaker!!!"
I need to reorganize everything in my life, IM a complete mess, Ive fallen behind so much in school, Im barely hanging in there. MY family has been giving me less probelms, so thts a good change I guess. Ive always dreamt of having an angel as the love of my life, and missy surely isnt it. I know that some day I will run into my angel. only time will tell. ALl im trying to focus on rihgt now is my schoolwork, and then get ready to go off to college, where i could put all this behind me, and start anew.
Do not worry about me, I will be fine. I thank you all for the support you have given me over these past few months.
thnak you Andres
Responses to this article:
--- Wednesday, November 17, 2004 -
Answer by: Emma
Hi Sam!
Yup, we decided we weren't "right for each other" :( I'm still quite sad about it all even though I know it was probably the right thing to do...
Whoa! I'm an advice-giver Sam, don't get me all emotional!!
But yeah, that's about it really. I reckon I can do much better but when my very own Man-Angel will come along has yet to be seen - I'm keepin' my eyes peeled!
I'm gonna take my own advice & wait on the Lord - it's all in His plan... I've been praying a lot recently which helps.
Are you single Sam? ;D
Hope you're keeping well anyway, I miss not having read your posts for a while - I've been so busy with work & generally mulling around being a tad miserable... But hey! I'm plugged into the Foo Fighters right now so I'm feeling better already :D
Laters, Em x
--- Tuesday, November 16, 2004 -
Answer by: sam
So... I WAS right initially then about this chick, ha! :-)
Hey Andres, Emma's right -- this chick has some serious issues and sooner or later, she will have to face up to how terrible of a person she has been to straight up LIE to you about loving you, WTF!
Remember that you are a better person than she will EVER be, as she goes through different guy to different guy... But YOU were one rare gent who actually loved her and wanted to give her the world. And she nonetheless crapped all over you.
You ARE better than this Andres, and there are indeed better catches out there.
Hey Emma, did you and your guy break up too?
--- Tuesday, November 16, 2004 -
Answer by: Emma
Hi Andres!!
I've been sooooooo busy lately - I haven't posted for a while now but I felt compelled (as I always do!) to reply to you :)
Man, this all sucks... I do worry about you & what you've been through / are going through. It's always the nice guys, the decent fellas who get trodden on... I'm looking for someone like you but heck! Can I find him? Nope, not yet - at least :(
Andres, you know how great a guy you are & you know that when you do find your Angel she'll be one helluva lucky gal! It's terrible to hear you've been treated this way, I really do feel (what verges on) hatred for Missy right now - I know it's no consolation but she really is missing out on so much... Happens, she's not mature enough... happens, she's too caught up with being popular to find happiness with someone with so many qualities... ALL HER LOSS & boy! is it some loss!
I know it hurts & I commend you for sounding so strong, oh if only I could give you a hug :) Ya know, I realise it's all "old-hat" & has been said many times over on various Christian message boards & so on - but all of this really is "preparation" for The One you're destined to be with. This, I strongly believe in. She's going through the exact same preparation that you're going through now & you've both just got to hang in there until you find one another & one day, be it tomorrow or in some years time, you will. Hold onto this, you'll find your Angel one day.
Phew! You're so strong so please stay positive about the future, about everything. You will be blessed, you're a good person, a decent guy & nowadays they're becoming increasingly difficult to find.
Do try to get some "extra help" with your schoolwork, don't muddle through it all on your own, ask for help. Tell a teacher that things in your personal life have been difficult, I'm sure it won't take you long to catch up - you're a top class student ain'tcha? ;)
Seriously though, get some support. Once your back on track with schoolwork you can start on your path to whatever dream you have your heart set on - set BIG GOALS! You're a smart man; you can do anything you put your mind to. Plus, keeping your mind occupied is perhaps the best thing for you from here on.
Oh & don't call her. I suspect you won't anyway from what you say just don't give her the satisfaction of knowing she's been in your thoughts for even a nano-second. You don't need her crap.
It's been a rollercoaster, reading your posts & often I worried about you & what was going on. I prayed & prayed that Missy would return the love you HAD for her but as they say, it wasn't meant to be... yada, yada - it don't help things I know, I'm just going through the motions :)
Please take care of yourself Andres, get some support at school. If it's too late to catch up, resit the year - get the grades you deserve, that's your key to an awesome career, prospects, life & so on... anything's possible from there on.
If ever you post again, no matter how busy I am I do check the titles of posts so if you leave your name as you always have in the past it'd be a pleasure to catch up on how things are going - no matter how many months that may be from now.
Stay strong & keep positive. The future's bright & it's yours for the taking :D
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