Over the past few months I have been spending a lot of time with one of my good guy friends that is gay. (We met a few months ago) We get along great, we're always there for eachother, we have fun, we laugh together and all that good stuff. I find him very attractive and he has also told me before that I was very good looking.
But lately, I have been noticing that I think I am starting to fall in love with him. He's never been with a woman before so I am afraid to say anything to him about my feelings towards him and most importantly I don't want to ruin our friendship. I'm afraid he's going to think I am crazy for falling for him when I know he's gay. But if he's never been with a woman then he doesn't know what it's like. He acts flirty towards me (such as smacking eachothers asses). Sometimes when he's getting dressed he'll ask me how he looks and then he'll say "Would you do me?" But since he's gay I can't help but think that it doesn't mean anything. I want it to mean something though. I want it to be like if I said "yes" in a serious way to that question, then we would have at it.
Should I bring it up to him how I feel or would that ruin our friendship? What are some ways I could get him to consider a relationship with me or even just a "friends with benefits" relationship? How should I talk to him about this and what should I do about the whole situation? I really want to be with him on that next level. Whether it being a relationship or friends with benefits. So if you have any advice on how I could get there I would really appriciate it.
Thanks so much
Jessica
Responses to this article:
--- Tuesday, November 16, 2004 -
Answer by: sam
A long time ago I knew a gay guy who hung out with some old friends, and he used to say that there's a joke among gay men, that once in a great while they have to sleep with a woman just to affirm once again that they are gay.
It didn't amuse me, and it doesn't even make sense in some ways, but I guess there's some truth to his joke. Your friend has been very open that he is gay. That means he doesn't like girls. And of course he still finds you beautiful or whatever -- you're a straight woman and you can tell if another woman is pretty or not right?
Be careful here, Jessica. If you tell him how you feel you are just going to be disappointed.
And what is up with your "friends with benefits" comment? Not smart. You are just asking to get hurt! He's gay for one, and two a friend with benefits is in other words, getting used. Having a so-called friend with benefits while you have feelings for them is just asking to make a future appointment with a shrink. Get out and meet some new people, and forget about having anything other than a friendship with this one. Sorry but that's how I see it.
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