Ok, I was dating this guy for 9 months. I got sick of his crap and broke up with him 2 months ago. He was begging for me back, like he did the other two times i broke up with him. I kept thinking that he was going to change. haha stupid me. He tried killing himself tho.. it really scared me and i was pressured to be with him so he wouldnt do anything stupid. He did that everytime we broke up. This time when I broke up with him he begged for me back.. I refused. We stayed friends and after a while I thought I wanted to be with him... we tried things and they were perfect. And then all of a sudden he totally changed. He said screw it and he only wanetd to be friends. He was calling me everyday and the odd time tellnig me how he felt. He did make me cry almost every nite because he was rude to me and hardly had nice things to say to me. I was really confused. So a week ago I blocked and deleted him off my list so that I could have no contact with him over the computer. Then that same nite I find out he is seeing some new girl. I am confused because he says he loves me so much, he's tried killing himself 3 times because he says if he cant have me there is no reason for him to continue life.. yet now he has some new girl... he hasn't even called me once in a week. I am kinda glad he is done and over with, I just dont get why he just let me go that easy. Can someone help me out? thank you very much!!
Responses to this article:
--- Tuesday, November 23, 2004 - irritated...
Answer by: sam
Whoa, Kev. I wasn't even talking about YOU, or that guy supposedly "trying" to kill himself... I was refering to the manipulation AND MIND GAMES he plays on her and the fact that he is seeing someone on the side. HE IS FULL OF SHIT. He is abusing this girl. That is messed up.
Dude, you know nothing about me other than the fact that I happen to be a caring person who comes to this board to help people out, not to knock on them and diagnose their illnesses. I don't think I am that ignorant to go around and say "YOU TRIED TO KILL YOURSELF! YOU'RE MENTALLY ILL!" That is just idiotic. For real, try to understand what a person is actually saying before you go and attack them.
--- Sunday, November 21, 2004 - selfish
Answer by: beebee
gurl 2 me it sounds like u selfish..u knew u had him where u could get him back n-e time u wanted him..and now dat u cant u dont like it..its called rejection. im glad he seems 2 be over you..he should feel proud.
--- Saturday, November 20, 2004 -
Answer by: Jonathan
Hi BabyGirl21,
First let me add my two cents to prior comments. Of course we now all know that trying to kill yourself because of these emotional issues has no crazy meaning. It all deals with the amount of interest you have/had in a person who supposedly hurt you; and not to mention the people who become "obsessed" with their ex. You feel that they are totally compatible with you, as if no one else would compare or make you happy; so without them you feel like there's no reason to live if "Mr./Mrs. Right" don't want you anymore, and as if no one else can make you happy as that person probably did, else, "happier".
Why don't he bother anymore? This "irony" has much to do with him actually finding someone who he FEELS actually turned out to be compatible... but this is only theory as of now. One day he may end up right back at your doorstep -- that's if he's wrong about her; but I think you've learned from your mistake(s). Move on and try not to be vulnerable to this type of person because there's no such thing as a victim when dealing with relationships... you can only volunteer. What more can I say?
AIM: LuringLove
GoodLuck... JonathanReed@excite.com
--- Saturday, November 20, 2004 -
Answer by: Emma
I don't think Sam was implying that you had mental problems but I guess it's just a phrase we throw about (too carelessly perhaps) to describe someone who is playing mind games & using emotional blackmail to try to control the other person... and he's right - it's not healthy & to be in a relationship like that only leads to emotional torment & unfulfillment...
Some people try not to hurt the other person's feelings & end up making things worse... you think if I get back with him it'll prevent him from "doing something stupid again" then he'll be okay... Sure, he will, for a while but if he's not the guy for you at the start how's he going to fit the bill after a few extreme attempts at forcing you to stay...?
I understand what your situation was Kev, but at the end of the day it's not healthy to obsess over someone to the point where if they don't return your feelings you threaten or actually attempt to take your own life. Relationships should be 50/50 & when they are it's healthy but you should also lead a life of your own & be dependent & confident enough to stand on your own two feet... & most importantly you should be emotionally stable in yourself.
It's just my own two cents & I apologise if you take offence because it's really not intentional. I just like to see people in healthy relationships & if they have any "issues" before they get with someone often, it's better to sort these out with oneself before you look to someone else as a substitute for your own effort.
But yeah, my advice mirrors Sam's - move on & find a relationship where you're going to be happy :)
--- Friday, November 19, 2004 -
Answer by: stiffmeis
mental problems? obviously you know nothing about why people try to kill themselves. sorry but I honestly don't think I have a mental problem.. Depression might be a case, but once again I don't think I was depressed, there are other reasons why. Mental problems are just an excuse or fad that people like to label others who try this. Thats far from the truth so I'm sorry sam before you say something you should really look into it. I don't think i'm mentally ill, or depressed, or was depressed. I did what I did because I thought it was a logical solution to a fucked up problem... ~kev
--- Friday, November 19, 2004 -
Answer by: sam
Um, this guy has mental problems. Not to mention the relationship you had was extremely unhealthy. You did the right thing to break things off. Forget about him and this supposed new girlfriend of his. Better yet, feel sorry for her because he's probably going to manipulate her too.
You're best off with him out of your life. Move on and don't look back.
--- Friday, November 19, 2004 -
Answer by: stiffmeis
WHOA, sorry this sounds ohh too familiar down to the killing of himself.. That was me except I tried twice, then stopped talking to my ex. Wow I dunno what to say you are like my ex! lol no offence just this story sounds exactly like me.. I dunno why he let you go soo easily I found it really hard to trust anyone after what I've done, i didn't know whomy friends were, who was there to screw me over nothing. i've pretty much flipped from how I use to be. I use to trust basically anyone until they screwed me over but now I trust no one but me.. perhaps he's different and has found someone that he has those feelings for, or mabe he's just trying to get back at you for whatever I dunno.. I can't tell yah, if you'd like to talk to me on AIM i'd gladly tell you more. my aim name is the same as this name so feel free, unless of course I end up in the ER tonight I dunno.. Read the previous post. goodluck to yah though as long as you're happy. ~kev
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