hi, i have been dating my current girlfriend for about 4 months now and i am one of the few guys who wants to remain a virgin till marriage and i wam will to admit it. However in the past i somewhat wanted to date a girl who was one too but i got over it because i really like my current girlfriend. she isn't a virgin and i guess she feels really bad about it and there isn't anything i can do and i feel really bad. She says she never wanted to do it but she did anyway even though her former bf was an ass to her at times. and now she feels really bad that she did. and i don't know what to tell her. i want her to be happy and i feel bad because there isn't much i can do. i tried to tell her it doesn't matter to me that she isn't one but she just gets all sad because she feels i still do i guess. she even cried on the phone the other day because she really didn't want to do it with her former bf. Also everyone knew the boyfriend was an ass and she was told that alot but she didn't listen.
i feel so bad and i don't know what to do.(we aren't having sex and we won't be till atleast im married)do you have any suggestions oh how i might be able to comfort her? even the name of her former boyfriend makes her really sad. and she stoped dating him back in jan. oh and she had a bf right after her first one too...bascialy to get over the first guy but that didn't work i guess
and i hate to be like this but i truely think that the majority of guys who go out with a girl just to get some a re true assholes and then they give nice guys like me a bad rep but.... i guess i say the majority of guys just SUCK!!
and i know kicking the former bf's butt won't solve anything either.
any suggestions?? this never really came up in our relationship b4 either.....anything would help i guess and if i posted this in the wrong area im sorry....
thanks for your help
Responses to this article:
--- Thursday, November 11, 2004 -
Answer by: sam
Counseling is the best suggestion for your girlfriend to get over these feelings of guilt. So, she made a mistake. Ok... well, we are all human, we ALL make mistakes. I don't know if you all are Christian, but I believe that Jesus died on the cross for us and for our sins to be forgiven. One thing that might help her is for you to not put so much emphasis on sex. I think it's great that you want to remain a virgin until marriage -- that's awesome, as a matter of fact -- but you don't have to harp on it obsessively. We don't build relationships on if or not they happen to be a virgin. Doing so is basing the relationship on sex and that is foolish... you build a relationship on love and loving that person for who they are. So... my advice is to suggest your friend get sounseling or talk to her religious advisor, and move on from it all -- and you stick by your beliefs on sex but not harp on it obsessively.
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