I've been with my boyfriend for a year and a half and we have been threw alot together. Ten days ago we got into a stupid arguement and the next thing you know he wants a break. The argument we got into was very small but somehow it turned into this big thing. He has made me feel like everything is my fault. I don't think everything is my fault at all, it both our faults. When we argue he never wants to listen to me or talk about it thats why I get mad. It's frustrating. Sometimes he makes me feel bad about myself, I don't think he's sympathetic enough to my feelings. He's stubborn!!
Well he says he wants to take a break for 2 months. Usually when people take breaks there's no set time on it. He says he needs time to think about what he wants. He doesn't know if he wants to be with me or not. He also says that were still together. 2 days before we got into an argument he was telling me how much he loved me, now he says he doesn't know if he wants to be with me. I love him very much and I want to make things work between us. I want to give him 2 months to think but i'm affraid because what if he decides that he doesn't want to be with me? I would be hurt more than I already am. I don't know what to think. I try and talk to him to tell him how I feel and it doesn't seem important to him right now. I just want to talk to him. I tell him why I get so angry at him. It's because he doesn't talk to me or listen to me all the time when I need comfort about something. Right now i'm a mess!! I shouldn't call him anymore, he should call me. I asked him if he wanted to work things out with me and he says he doesn't kow, wait two months. I said if you don't want to work things out now what makes you think you'll want to later. If he really loved me he would want to. All he says is that he needs time to think. What about me?? What about what I want?? This hurts. I asked him the other day if he decides to stay with me and work things out will he change his ways? He said he would.
I'm having a really hard time with this. I don't know what to think. If he really wanted to be with me I think he would call me before the 2 months and tell me he wants to work things out. If he takes 2 months without calling me at all, not even for my birthday or christmas maybe i'll realize he's not worth it. He's not being so nice and i have told him that if thing are going to get better you should start now to fix them. He's being so cold and stubborn. I can't fix eveything myself he has to put an effort into what I want him to stop doing. Right now he just doesn't care. This is not fair to me. What do I do?? I want it to work out. Whay won't he talk about this with me? I need to talk to him about it without argueing about it. I want him to listen to how I feel.. Do you think it's really important to him?? Help
Responses to this article:
--- Monday, November 22, 2004 - GURL THIS SOUNDS LIKE ME 3 MONTHS AGO
Answer by: beebee
GURL I HAD A SITUATION SIMILIAR TO THAT JUST LIKE 2 WEEKS AGO..AND AFTER ME BEING WID HIM FOR 2 YEARS I FINALLY LET HIM GO .IT HURT FOR A LITTLE WHILE BUT YOU WILL LIVE !! U NEED TO LET HIM GO..2 ME IT SEEM LIKE HE THINKS HE GOT CHU IN CHECK SO HE DONT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT ANYTHING.. AND WHY WOULD HE MAKE AN EFFORT IN THE RELATIONSHIP WHEN HE KNOWS YOUR NOT GOING TO LET HIM GO ? THIS MAY SEEM HARSH BUT GIRL ITS A REALITY CHECK.. LET THAT BOI GO.. AND LET HIM GO NOW!
--- Sunday, November 21, 2004 -
Answer by: Jonathan
Hi LovelyGirl,
Alright - check it. The way I see it, you should leave him alone. He feels that he has your heart, and guess what? it seems that he has it. So what will he do with that heart of yours? Control you with it -- nothing more to say about it. Either that or he's like a large percentage of us guys who have absolutely no clue of what they want or feel; be it his harmones telling him that he's in love. Well, atleast the argument reveals the truth when he runs out on you, giving you a time period to wait for him. And guess what? you beter not even think about dating someone else during this time period -- you belong to him... atleast that's what he thinks.
If you're not going to be smart and leave this chump alone, the least you can do is make it SEEM as if he don't have your heart by playing it cool; and of course by practicing "self-control". No calling him and if HE decides to call (which'll be noo time soon), don't answer. Make it seem as if you've moved on for a while and see if he'll come to his senses. If that don't work, atleast have some dignity: leave him alone, get your bags, and get the hell on. Though this is a second option, I would recommend the first -- trust me! You heard it all...
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