Title: not exactly strangers

By: Alexandra17

I'm in college and I noticed this guy at a soccer game. I used to play and I'm just a huge fan of the sport so I had come to support my school's team. Anyway I noticed this one guy on the field and immediately found him very attractive, but conceded that he looked like he probably was jerk. I continued going to the games throughout the season and as I went to the games I noticed the attitudes of the players on the field. I began to notice how the guy I had found attractive had a good attitude, never celebrated his achievements, and was very calm and reserved (unlike most of the other players on the team). Besides that he was very talented. Needless to say I started to become interested in him and developed a crush.

I went to all the home games, and I would swear that there was no way he noticed me except for one incident. I had imagined (or thought I had imagined) that he had glanced at me from time to time... but never actually considered that maybe he seriously had noticed me. At one of the last games of the season he had come off the field and was standing on the sidelines. I was up in the bleachers above him and below me were some young kids that kept making comments. He turned around and looked at the kids and then moved his gaze up at me, then continued to watch the game. No big deal, just looking around, I didn't think much of it at all. At the end of the game he turns around again and looks directly at me for several moments. Completely unsure what to do I looked back at him and then left. This would be the only time I would say that he definitely noticed me. Again I figured, ok big deal, who knows why he looked at me.

There is this new thing online called the facebook where students in hundreds of schools across the country can post their picture, put up information about themselves, and connect to other friends. One day I noticed he had joined, and figured I had nothing to lose and would send him a message. I simply said that I am a big soccer fan, I thought he was talented, and did not want to scare him or anything, but just say hi. He answered me back in a way that seemed more than just being nice, and possibly even showing that he had some interest. He said he was glad I sent him a message and that I should come to some of their parties and talk to him online.

I didn't want to assume that he possibly put together seeing me at the game and my picture, it would be a far stretch, but I found it strange that he willingly invited me to come out to a party where his friends would be IF he hadn't seen me in person. When I talked to him online (it was on the weekend at night) he immediately brought up possibly going to a party, IF i wanted something to do, and gave me his phone number. It turned out that that night there was nothing going on at our college, but I did call him and I didn't really feel too awkward about it because I usually would flip out. We ended our conversation with him saying that we would meet up some other time.

A few days later I went to dinner with my friends in one of the dining halls. I should mention my school is huge and we have several different dining halls and dorms. While I was eating dinner I suddenly saw him. Strange as it was, he had sat down with his friends in a place that was directly in my vision. If I had PLANNED to sit in a spot to specifically watch him, the seat I was in was the perfect place. I immediately felt a little strange, and knew I would absolutely not approach him. When I got up to get more food he noticed me, very smoothly. I assumed that he had no idea who I was but hoped that maybe he did. My friend also noticed that he was watching me as I walked by (I of course could not bring myself to look at him). I get very nervous in situations like that and usually completely lose any confidence I have. When we left dinner, he was standing with his friend and had his back to me, so he didn't see me. I went to grab a napkin and as I walked back he was turned facing his friend talking to him. As I walked by we quickly looked at each other. Even in that look it was completely obvious that we knew who the other person was.

Afterwards in the lobby of the hall we glanced at each other again, and again it was obvious that he knew who I was. I just felt so confused afterwards. I couldn't decide if what had happened was good or bad. I don't know what my facial expressions looked like, but I know I probably didn't look too friendly. I'm not sure what to do now. I couldn't decide if he was just as nervous as I was, or embarassed, or maybe even turned off. I know it is an awkward situation that I (and both of us) are in since we have never spoken in person, but it was clear to me that he did want to meet in person. I think I feel nervous that he may decide he doesn't actually want to hang out now that he's seen me... which is poor self esteem on my part. I know I shouldn't make any judgment on the situation until I talk to him, but I'm unsure what I would say (and how I would go about it). I do have his phone number but I feel a phone call would be very awkward. Then again, it would be best just to get past this feeling of awkwardness if he had seriously wanted to hang out. Should I mention that I did see him that night? I think avoiding the fact would be worse.

Any advice on what I could do, or what anyone thinks about the situation would be very helpful.

Thanks.

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Friday, December 10, 2004 -
Answer by: sam

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Thursday, December 9, 2004 - Been there
Answer by: glass88