I've really interested in a guy and we know each other through friends. He seems to be interested in me but whenever we're around each other he becomes, what I think, is really shy.
He'll notice me on campus at school and look at me, but when we get near each other he won't look at me. I've seen him many times at dinner and he will continually turn and look at me, walk past me... and basically give off body language clues that he is interested. The one time where I thought he would approach me I got nervous and turned away from him the moment our eyes met. When I had looked up at him his entire face lit up, but I immediately became self conscious and couldn't look at him.
Now when I've seen him he's gotten close enough to me to say something... but doesn't approach me or say anything. He stood about 3 feet away from me to get something and I just looked at him (ok... stared) hoping that he would just look up so I could at least smile and maybe relax the situation. All he could do was just look straight ahead, and then he continued to hang around the area that I was in while I walked around aimlessly. To me it seemed like he was waiting for the right moment, or maybe wanted me to say something?
I hate to feel like such a child about this, and I really want to just go up to him myself, smile, and say hi. But when I get around him I just get so scared and nervous, and then I think maybe he feels exactly the way I do too.
Should I just go for it? Get over myself, go up to him and say hi? I'd just hate it if he wasn't interested... I only have a tiny bit of doubt that he might not be, and its that doubt thats holding me back. Maybe thats what is holding him back too? And I'd also hate it if he got really freaked out if I did approach him. But whats the point in me, and probably him too, wondering what the other one is thinking and how the other will react... because we'll never know if we don't do something about it.
I would really appreciate any advice, and if there are any shy people out there that this sounds familiar to, I'd also appreciate knowing if you relate to my story.
Thanks.
Responses to this article:
--- Sunday, January 23, 2005 -
Answer by: sam
Either one of two things is going on -- he either is completely not interested in you and you are reading into things, or he really is interested and, as you say, is too shy to say anything.
There's an easy way to get your answer, and that is to say hello the next time you find him looking at you. A simple smile isn't enough... say hello to him and upon his reply, say something casual, such as; "Wow, nice day, isn't it?" Or, "I see you around here all the time. What classes are you taking?" Etc. Be simple. If he is interested in you you will be able to tell by his body language and his eagerness to talk to you.
If he acts like he doesn't want to talk to you, then blow the whole thing off. He may be just some guy that find you attractive, but isn't interested in a date. It happens.
So go and strike up a conversation already, and stop wondering!
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