Title:
HEARTBROKEN , CRUSHED, HURT, IN PAIN HELP PLEASE
By: beebee
i been with my "first" love for almost 3 years now..and he has put me through hell. First of all i am white & he is black and i lost like all my family over our relationship. I have been to jail over him and everything...The Point im trying to make is that i have made so many sacrifices for him and i love him dearly..well anyways when we first got together i caught him cheating which is where i should have ended it but i didnt.i was dumb & still am..well then he started asking me for all this money.at first i didnt pay n-e attention to it..cuz u know he was my boyfriend i thought it was normal. well now if i dont give him money he wont talk to me..and he dumps me...how wrong? right or wrong..well today i called him and his "girlfriend" answered the phone! WTF IM HIS GIRL....U KNOW....well he wrote me back on my cell and told me i was just his hoe who gave him money 2 give to her...im so hurt & heartbroken..he was my everything...now im torn apart and cant stop crying plz help thanks
Responses to this article:
--- Monday, January 3, 2005 -
Answer by: Emma
Hmmmmm... you say "i was dumb & still am". Hey Beebee, I've got some great news for you girl, you CAN change things around. It doesn't have to carry on this way! Don't talk yourself down like this - guys who are jerks know how to play you as soon as they pick up that you have low/no self-esteem.
Okay, so he was your first love but hey... everything that followed that initial thing you had is pretty trashy. He treated you like dirt & continues to do so... because you allow him to. You were right to quit giving him cash & his reaction to that should be all you need to start over without this jerk.
Come on, I know it's hard to visualise "another way" of living but this ain't healthy! Like Sam says - start over & do it TODAY!
He's taken up waaaaaay too much of your time already & the whole cheating, going to jail for him saga sums up how twisted the relationship became. It spiralled & whilst you shouldn't accept all the blame you should at least be able to see how you may have fuelled his behaviour.
You're always stronger than you think you are & all this crap that you've been through proves that. Now go out there, be single for a while. Get your life together & don't ever look back. A guy & a loving relationship are the goal so aim towards this; it's no less than what everybody deserves in life. It's what we all crave.
Best of luck, stay strong :)
--- Monday, January 3, 2005 -
Answer by: sam
You love him? More like you're addicted to him, which is typical in unhealthy relationships. No offense, but why aren't you learning any lessons here? How much will it take for you to realize that this guy is only going to bring you trouble and heartache? Wake up and smell the coffee here! You've caught him cheating and been to jail over him??? Look, I don't know what you expect anyone to say here -- but coming from an unbiased perspective -- you definitely need to move on and start your life over. A real and healthy and loving realtionship is out there for you to find. Don't settle for less than what you deserve. Move on and don't look back.
BTW: Pick up the book by Robin Norwood, "Women Who Love too Much." It should help you.
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