I finally approached a guy that I've had a huge crush on for months. He's known who I am for a long time and has an idea that I'm interested in him, I just hadn't worked up the nerve to actually say anything to him. I finally worked up the courage to talk to him, and when we spoke to each other I'm happy to say that for me, the feelings of infatuation I had been dealing with for months suddenly seemed to be cooled when I realized this guy was just a normal person, who was also very sweet, nice, ...and what seemed to be REALLY nervous too.
Whenever I had been around him before we spoke I wasn't sure if I should approach him because he wouldn't even look at me. That is, he wouldn't look at me when I was looking at him. I started to tell myself that he wasn't the least bit interested in me until I watched him more closely. He would continually steal glances at me whenever he was far away. Whenever he got close to me, not only would he not look at me... he would look DOWN. At first I didn't think it was a big thing, but I payed attention to him when I wasn't near him, and he walked around normally and very confidently.
I hadn't been completely sure if he knew who I was, but when I spoke to him in person I found out he did. (There's a whole other part to my story that I don't feel is completely necessary to share, but we had already communicated with each other online) I was standing close to him and he STILL wouldn't look up at me, despite the fact that I was obviously looking at him. So, I reached out and touched him. He turned and I said hey... and the look in his eyes basically said it all. There was no look of confusion... but he looked as if he were very nervous. His voice even sounded nervous. We spoke for a few moments very casually and then went our separate ways. However, I still find doubt in whether or not he was interested in me, or what.
The next time I saw him he was with all of his friends, and there was no moment where we were ever near each other... but I felt upset that he couldn't even look over at me and smile or something.
His behavior and my gut instinct is telling me that he's nervous, shy, and unsure what to do now. But I still wonder if maybe he's not interested in me at all, and only felt awkward around me because he knew who I was? I honestly can't think of any explanation for his behavior, and if for any reason something is clearly saying that he is NOT interested in me, I'd like to know.
I'd also like to know that if he is interested... what can I do next?
Not knowing much else about him I cannot more directly analyze him, and I'm just going off of perspective.
Speaking from the perspective that he is shy. Indeed he doesn't know what to do next and fears rejection from you. Shy men tend to wait until they are certain there is no possibility of rejection. You can help quench his fears by being assertive and making the first move.
To help explain why he tends to not look you in the eye and so forth is embarrassment and nervousness, He's afraid of what you think of him (he definitely likes you). He also fears to express his emotions (doing so leaves him vulnerable and its the same pain folded 10 times over if he is rejected).
Most shy men are very normal, odds are though you are his first serious interest and he hasn't had much experience on the matter. Being inexperienced, and possibly having a few rejections in the past, shy men tend to be very careful.
Other ways to help (if you don't want to make the first move), being friendly to him and starting conversations will give him courage (It may take a while for results but it will work eventually). Odds are he's reading into you as well and thinks you aren't interested or he makes you nervous.
~LB ibIncognito
--- Wednesday, February 9, 2005 - Re: confusion
Answer by: Guy
Don't worry the guy likes you alot I can tell, I'm exactly like this guy. Very confident but very shy when the girl i like is around. You can especially tell because he steals glances at you that he does. Its just natural/instictional for him (and me) to freeze up and look else where when that someone is near. I'm gradually getting over the nerves, and if you continue to talk with him he will too. Best of Luck and God Bless
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