Id really appreciate it if someone could help me with this.
The thing is, me and my ex finished a long time ago, almost 9months ago now.... And ive finally found someone who treats me like he did.. So i think??
This guy isnt the greatest of lookers, but thats not the point, looks arent everything are they.?? Dont get me wrong, hes not horrible tho.
He so nice to me tho, ive known him over a month now, and hes asked me a few times to take things futher ie: girlfriend and boyfriend... but the thing is, im not 100% sure im over my ex. As far as im concerned i am, but then he'll ring me up, and my emotions come flooding back. But i presume this is only normal, as we were together almost 2years!
I dont wanna hurt this new guy, at all... And i really am thinking about making a go of it. I just wondered if any one had any comments, just to help. To tel u the truth, i dont know how im feeling right now. My hearts saying do it, my heads saying wait. which do i listen to?
I think what Sam meant about looks is, does this guy only want a relationship because of YOUR looks. I wont comment further just wanted to clarify and spin off in a different direction.
For a girl it is a good policy to become just friends first. Go ahead and maintain that relationship a little longer (as the others have suggested). He will probably deal with it if you want to take it slower, though it may turn him off to any future increase in the relationship the risk of that may be slim.
~LB ibIncognito -"I'm not a bloody soothsayer, I can't see the future!" -"Then how did you know the ship would explode, the president would be safe, the winning lottery numbers and the answers to the past 5 weeks of Jeopardy" -"... .... ... I'm from the future... ... ..." -"I still think Lucky and Insane are the top runners for plausible explanations"
--- Monday, February 14, 2005 - i know...
Answer by: x ~ Keeli ~ x
Sam i totally understand what your saying, and i AM friends with him... And i know he'd never push for anythin... But i guess what i meant was, ifwe wereto stay just friends, and i started to go out with someone else, that would hurt him... And i know its not based on attraction, as i am not 100% attracted to his looks, but i am 110% attracted to him as a person. Hes a lovely guy! Im just thinking things over at the min.
:o) Keeli x
--- Sunday, February 13, 2005 -
Answer by: sam
Keeli, you have to be friends with someone to have a relationship with them. A real lasting relationship is not just based upon attraction... I'd question the guy's motives if he was just interested in you because of your looks. Why can't you be friends with someone and get to know them before being their significant other??? Keeli, understand this -- if you think you are going to find a loving relationship by jumping into relationships without taking the time to get to know someone -- good luck. Perhaps this is why you have found yourself in destructive relationships.
Set some standards for yourself. Relationships take time to develop... that is, if you want them to last.
--- Saturday, February 12, 2005 - Thanx
Answer by: x ~ Keeli ~ x
Thanx alot everyone...
Its not that this guy reminds me of my ex, he's a completely different person... Ive had some bad relationships in the past, and only my ex, and this guy, seem to treat me right. He such a nice person. The thing is, i know he really likes me, so (even though we are at the moment) i dont think we could be friends, without there being something there. I do feel for him. Im 18 by the way!
thanx again, and if any one has any more comments, feel free to write them for me!
cheers
keeli x
--- Thursday, February 10, 2005 -
Answer by: sam
Honesty is the best policy, especially when it comes to being honest with yourself.
Only YOU can judge whether or not you're ready to begin dating again. It been nine months now, I think you should be attempting to move on from your last relationship. And sometimes to move on, you have to not talk to the ex until you're ready to be friends (if you choose to even be friends with the ex).
As for this other guy -- give it time. Tell him that you want to be his friend and get to know him better. Even though you sound young, it's best not to jump into a relationship anyway without getting to know the person. When you get to know him better, you'll have a better understanding of if you wish to develop a relationship with him. So, be his friend and get to know him better. That way it is a win/win situation -- because if you decide that he's not someone you wish to be with romantically -- at least you've gained a friend.
--- Thursday, February 10, 2005 -
Answer by: sara
Think about why you and your ex broke up...sometimes things just dont work out...do you feel that maybe you still have a chance of getting back together?
of course you'll always have feelings for someone that you have loved...I still do for my x...but try and decide if it is worth holding yourself back from a new healthy relationship...
Maybe you are scared bc your x was all that you have ever known and you are trying to find someone just like him to feel comfortable...but eventually you will realize that with every guy that you date they are all different and they will each make you feel different but in a good way...
My advice to you is to never settle...just from what you have written it doesn't sound like you really want either of them...maybe you should just keep dating...
Good luck...
--- Thursday, February 10, 2005 - wait
Answer by: dima
Hey, You definitely seem unsure about how you feel, and if you're concerned about possibly hurting this new guy, then I would say to just wait it out and take things slow. You need enough time to get over your ex, and meanwhile you can spend time still getting to know this new guy and decide how you really feel about him. Is it possible that maybe you like him because he reminds me of your ex? Make sure you like the new guy for who he is, and not because he treats you the way your ex did.
I think when you're ready you'll know it, and for now just take your time. Good luck with everything!
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