I am so miserable. Yesterday my boyfriend called me, and right after he called his cell phone rang and he asked me to hang on. Then he talked to his ex-gf (the mother of his kid) for 15 minutes while I waited on the other phone. I could hear their conversation. They were talking about some changes they are making on their child custody arrangement, but my boyfriend seemed really chatty and they just seemed to be drawing out the conversation. Finally they hung up.
Then he came to the phone and said "I'm so sorry, I forgot you were waiting." I said, "What happened?" He said some people called. I said who? He said his sister, his boss, his cousin. He lied to me! I said "What about your ex?" And he said no, but then he admitted it when I said I heard the whole thing. He said he lied because he knew I would get mad.
I've been sick over this! I've been crying since it happened. First of all, he forgot I was on the phone! Second of all, he talked to her for 15 minutes! Third, he lied to me about it! He says I'm way overreacting and acting crazy, but I can't help it. I just can't believe this. He says he can't stand her, but if that is true, why did he drag out a dumb conversation for 15 minutes? It was a problem that could have been settled in 5!
Am I overreacting? We have been together for 2 1/2 years. I can't stand the idea that he might still love her. I feel so sick over this. I couldn't sleep all night and I couldn't eat all day today and I've been doing nothing but cry.
Please help me!!!!!!
Responses to this article:
--- Thursday, February 10, 2005 -
Answer by: sara
Im gonna have to say that on this one that I think you are over reacting just a little....I can understand that you are jealous bc of his x but the truth is that they have a child together...
He probably cant stand her but he HAS to keep a healthy relationship w her bc of the child...ok think of it this way he forgot that you were on the phone right? and he ONLY talked for 15 minutes...I know when your waiting thats like eternity but maybe you should cut him a little slack on this one...they were just talking about custody arangements...
As far as the lying...he needs to understand that when he does it only makes it worse...I used to do it with my bf just to keep us from fighting and it was about dumb things like just hanging out with my friends or whatever...just tell him that ya sometimes the truth might make you mad at the moment but you'll get over it whereas lying on the other hand will take a while to get over...
Dont let his ugly x get to you like this...you are the one that has him now not her...and he LOVES YOU...now you just have to believe it for yourself ;)
--- Thursday, February 10, 2005 -
Answer by: sam
First of all, CHILL OUT. And eat!
Second, you need to weigh in the possibility of whether this is the type of relationship for you -- i.e., being with a guy who shares a child with another woman. You've been with this guy two and a half years??? By now you should have accepted that she, his ex, will always be in his life -- because they share a child. That is something that's never going to go away, change, or stop. You said you overheard his conversation, and that they were talking about their child and custody issues. They weren't talking about meeting up for dinner and a movie. My guess is that the reason he didn't tell you who was really on this phone, is perhaps he knows that you have issues with this other woman -- for the wrong reasons, of course. You sound like you're jealous. Of course, that doesn't excuse his lying because he should be upfront with you about everything -- but perhaps he knew just how you'd react and didn't want a fight. Has something like this happened before??? My guess is it has. If he really had you on hold for fifteen minutes, you should have hung up long before that. He SHOULD have let you go and called you back -- but apparently it was an important phone call, especially if it deals with child custody issues, and he felt like it was something that had to be solved then and there. I really don't see a reason why you're not sleeping and not eating and freaking out over this. My advice is for you to seriously ask youself if you really want to be with a guy who shares a child with another woman, because honestly, it sounds like it is something that you can't handle -- and while there's nothing wrong with that, you have to be realistic here and accept reality.
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