Title: something to fall back on?

By:

ok heres the deal. I knew this girl and we were frineds, but ever since we first met, i always had strong feelings for her. she only wanted to be a friend. i was nuts over her. sometimes i would be driven to great states of depression. some said to date other people, but i never did. i kept focused on this girl. i could have gone for someone else, and have had like a rebound. but i never did, never even when i was at my lowest. well then she moved away, but we kept in touch. she said she missed me, and realized that she was mistaken, and that she wished she could have had something with me. well, i was so happy to hear this from her. i mean after i had been pursuing her for so long, and after being rejected by her countless times, she finally said she wanteed something with me. but she didnt think a long distance relationship would work. to me the distance was nothing, but she wanted to keep her options open. so we stayed friends; either way, she wanted to have somethin with me. she told me i should date around too, to keep my eyes open, but she still said she'd go out with me if we could see eahother again. of course i wanted to have that chance, and i didnt wanna keep my eyes open for other girls. i wanted to go out with her as soon as i got the chance.

so my confidence rose, and i was happy. i was livin on top of the world. well, then another girl caught my eye. without me even asking for it. i know everyone told me tht i should move on from the other girl, but i never took it into consideration. i didnt want to move on. but this girl just caught my eye. she had been new to school the previous year, but i never made anything of her. now, i realized that she was a cute girl. but she seemed kinda lonely to me. like she isolated herself from everyone else. and i felt kinda bad. i wanted to get to know her better, and i wanted to be a friend to her. but a crush developed anyway. i could tell she was a really good person. and she appealed to me soo much. i thought over it for a while, cuz i didnt wanna get involved with anyone else, i wanted the other girl who had moved. well then, i decided, wat the hell ill ask this new girl out. i didnt expect to get serious at all, just to go for some experience. well, we didnt go out, she didnt want a bf cuz it would stress her out. but she said she liked me anyway(as in more than a friend.) i was disappointed, but it was ok. so we stayed friends. and i told her about the other girl. so, after she denied my proposal to go out, i just put my mind to the other girl who had moved away. but i had feelings for this new girl now. but i didnt expect it to go anywhere. she told me she didnt want to get involved with anyone at all, even if she did like me.

so we hung out during lunch and stuff, and i wanted to hang out with her sometimes, but i seemed to annoy her a little too much. but either way, we just connected so well, and i loved her personality. she had told me that i shouldnt cling onto the other girl cz that wasnt a good thing to do. of course i was stubborn and i wanted to cling on. but she did make me think.

well, the girl who had moved, we still kept in touch and all, and i continued to have my hopes for her, but my feelings for her didnt feel quite as strong. but i told myself i wanted her anyway. but then suddenly things ended between me and the girl who had moved. she let go of the friendship, and i was really hurt by it. she was a bitch to me. and i told this new girl about it. so i took a week and i thought about it, and i finally got over the other girl. i still had feelings for this new girl, but i didnt expect anything to happen. so then eventually the friendship ended between me and her, cuz i was pushing her too much, not that i was a bad person, but that she felt pressured by me. i was heatbroken. i mean at first she began to avoid me, and then thts wen i realized that i was being hurt by her, and then wen she ended it, i realized, im in love. we just connected so greatly. before she ended the friendship, like right there, i said, "i love u"

and now, just recently my friend told me she had spoken to him, and that the real reason that she left the friendship is cuz she felt that she was scond best, cuz wen i told her that i loved her, she felt like a fallback girl, and she was hurt by it.

she really thinks that she is somthing to fall back on from the other girl, and i need to explain to her that she isnt. i guess she did want more now.

but i mean really, is she soemthing to fall back on or not? beacuse, i wasnt looking for anyone to fall back on, i thought things were goin great between me and the other girl. i began liking this new girl just like that, and her personality really appealed to me. and then wen she didnt wanna go out with me, i just went back to the other girl. but wen tht all ended, i didnt think anything would hapend between me and the new girl. i only felt stronger and stronger for her wen she started to ignore me.
if i was gonna fall back on anyone, it could have been, well, anyone.
so how do i explain to her that she isnt a rebound, never was, cuz i really do love her!!!!!
its my fault that she feels that shes the fallback girl becuase of how i explained things to her, and i really did make it seem that way to her, but this is how it really happened. how can i make her see this point of view please
thnk u

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Wednesday, February 16, 2005 -
Answer by: Sara