OK so i have been dating my boyfriend for 4 months, and i have always had a three boyfriends for the last two and a half years with no breaks in between. The thing is i dont know what i want.
I love my boyfriend very much and i love spending time with him but the thing is i dont feel the flame anymore. I feel like one of the guys when im with him we always hangout with his roommate and their friend and i dont mind it but its all the time. And our relationship just doesnt feel the same. I try telling him how i feel but it seems like he doesnt care and acts like there is nothing wrong. I dont understand he just makes me soo frusterated!It just seems like we dont have the same idea of our reltionship anymore at first it was great and i had soo much fun but i changed somehow and dont find the things we did fun. I mean his idea of going out and having fun is smoking with these older people and yea i enjoyed it at first but im in college and i want to meet people my own age and hang out with them and be a college kid. Even our sex life isnt great it doesnt feel like its anything special its basically well ok lets do it. He always goes come on lets bang and thats it i feel like there is no spark in our relationship anymore and i dont know what to do.
I recently went out to a club with just the girls and i enjoyed it i missed hanging out with just the girls! I think that i want to be single i havent been single in a while but i dont want to lose him as a friend. I dont know if he will understand but i feel like i just need time to myself and to figure out what I want. and to figure out who i am. I am afraid he will hate me and not want to tallk to me anymore and i dont want that. i mean i want ot go out there and be single and not worry that i have a boyfriend and worry about doing something that will get him mad. I just dont know what to tell him i mean everytime i tell him things he is like i love you and care about you thats why we should be together and then i dont want to hurt and forget what im feeling to make him happy. It just seems like i do everything to make someone else happy but in the long run im not! Help me
Responses to this article:
--- Wednesday, March 2, 2005 -
Answer by: Emma
Well, it certainly seems as though you could do with a break from the whole relationship game & you are NOT being unreasonable in asking for this...
Regardless of your past relationships, any new relationship you form in the future with someone you actually WANT to be with will work out. So drop this baggage & give yourself some space - you have nothing to feel bad about. We ALL make mistakes, we learn from them & move on...
You're a year younger than me & have experienced so much more relationship-wise, ya know - it's normal not to want anything too serious. Being single is often the best time to learn about yourself, to be independent & to figure out what really makes you tick.
You don't need someone else to find the answers.
Sit your boyfriend down & tell him everything you're telling us, how you crave space, some time on your own where you can explore what you want from life & have some fun without the ties that relationships inevitably bring. Tell him that none of this is personal, that you would feel the same whoever you were with since you haven't really experienced any "single-time".
I really don't think he'll be difficult over this if he truly cares about you, which I'm assuming he does since he's with you. Make the break before things drag on too far - it'll become more difficult, the more time goes by.
At the end of the day, if he does react badly or "hates you" over it - remember that he wasn't worth it, that he didn't really care about you & that it's best you didn't waste any more of your time on him :-)
Best of luck!
--- Tuesday, March 1, 2005 - This Oges with the question also
Answer by: dtb511
The thing is in the last three relationships i have had i always seemed to mess them up in my first one my longest one we went out for more than a year and a half and the thing is i think i always thought of ways to get in a fight or mess it up i would make him so mad and i think we were better off breaking up. And my second relationship i cheated on my ex with my current boyfriend and then started dating him right away and now in my current relationship i find ways to get into fights and i actually kissed another ugy but havent told him. I feel as if im not ready for a huge serious relationship, yea i wan tto get married but i am only twenty and i have my whole life to be with a person i love i just feel as though im not capable of being in a serious relationship and be honest. I have no idea what is wrong?
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