I met this girl at a club the other night we really hit it off. She is 31 and I am 30yrs old. We talked alot and asked each other personal questions about family ,job etc. It was like we were interested in each other. We started drinking and doing shots and starting dancing together and kissed. We were going to say good night and exchange numbers but my ride left so she ended up not wanting to drive me to my apt(too far). She offered to drive me to my friends we went but he was passed out and didnt answer the door. We bullshited in the car. She keep saying she doesnt take guys home with her I can kinda tell she didnt want to. Finally after a while she told me I could crash on her couch her roomate was in Georgia. So we went there and we slept together. We slept together again the next morning laid in bed and talked about stuff and have talked a few times since on the phone. If I call her she always answers or calls right back but never just calls me,when we are on the phone we talk for hours and she seems very interested. I can tell she is a very busy person but if I ask her to hang out she says ok but when its time she says I have plans with friends I will call you back you can meet us there. She does ask what are you doing tonight if I ask what she is up to? I have had one night stands before but we just seem to be communicating more then that so how do I find out what she thinks and not scare her away. She also makes it a point to tell me she wasnt that drunk that night kinda in a round about way of she knew what she was doing I think. I know she was in a long relationship that didnt go to well she doesnt talk about any other guys in her life besides family. I think maybe she doesnt want to be tied down right away but she is cool and we get along good. Do you think she maybe regretes sleeping together so soon?
Responses to this article:
--- Saturday, March 12, 2005 -
Answer by: Emma
Well... I'm not about to promote pre-marital sex of any kind, whether it's just the one night, meaningless, unfulfilled exchange or whether it's something which "could" lead to something more serious... but I'm not going to judge either.
In my opinion it degrades the whole sanctity of marriage & of commitment (when the "fun's" over). Hence, neither party really knows that much about the others feelings; it's all very clinical & emotionally deflating in my book.
I have no idea what her intentions are but on the night you first met, you both knew you were craving a little "fun". To expect something more wouldn't fit well with the whole game but if do you feel more for her, talk to her... tell her how you feel, that maybe, if she'd like to - you could share something a little more serious...
Whatever happens, you need to lay your cards on the table or else accept this as merely another fun night out with a prize at the end. The choice is yours but if you want to take a shot at happiness, at something meaningful - you need to be open & that starts with good communication, the kind that doesn't involve becoming one flesh.
Best of luck, maybe others will have a more helpful take on it than I did ;-)
LOVE QUESTIONS & ANSWERS: Love Q & A : Get your love & relationship questions answered - NEW!! Love Q&A Forum | Old Love Q&A Love Pros : Professional Help with love's challenges & relationships
