I not sure what to do and I guess Im looking for a little advice on my situation my ex boyfriend broke up with me back last year in August 2004 although im still really upset by this time passed has helped.
He broke up with me because we argued alot and because I got a txt from an ex boyfriend and I didnt tell him. I didnt think it was important and things were going really well between us and I didnt want to mention my ex it wasnt revelant. then he just said to me its over really harshly and I have never seen him since August. My ex is older than me Im 24 and he is 31 im hes first girlfriend.
I tried desperetly hard to win him back for a couple of months I sent him little gifts and wrote him a letter which explained the usual that I loved him and missed him and that I wanted to get back together. Then In October last year two months after he left me he told me in an email never to contact him again and that he wanted nothing more to do with me he told me he didnt want me for a friend or a girlfriend and never will. I was devastated to hear this but I respected his wishes and left him alone then in December last year he sent me an email out of the blue which said how are you? I couldnt believe it he told me never to contact him again and he was so sure. so I was really surprized to hear from him. I never said anything about what he said back in october and was very plesant to him so we started sending emails regulary and this has carried on. This year in February we were IM each other quite alot it was genral chit chat. its really difficult to chat to someone after all that has happened when we were together we spoke about getting a place together and now we are wishing each other luck because we are both getting houses separately, its so strange.
we are both on AOL and we both have profiles at the moment Im dating and I have put that on my marital status and he mentions that and wished me luck so I know hes been looking at my profile because I never told him I was dating. in our emails we write to one another I mentioned I was dating and he said he was too but he seems to repeat everything I say. I was hoping that the friendly emails and text messages would bring us back together again but its going nowhere
I sent him an email the other day asking him what did he want from me because he never phones me or wants to meet up. he said he would like to be friends but dont friends meet up now and again and speak on the phone we have never spoken on the phone since we broke up I dont want to be the first one to call because he told me he wanted nothing to do with me. Im so confused because I left him alone when he wanted me too when he contacted me I was nice to him so that he could feel comfortable I just feel used. its hard to explain how I feel I still love him but it feels like it will be like this forever him texting me now and again and it never going anywhere its a horrible situation to be in.
I dont know what he wants from me. has anyone ever been in this situation please help
thank you
Responses to this article:
--- Thursday, March 10, 2005 -
Answer by: klagesgal
If you are dating someone new pls don't go behind his back and try to figure out what went wrong with your old bf. He doesn't want a relationship, and never did by the sounds of it. You sound like an intelligent girl, don't get sucked in by some jerk. I went thru that with the worlds best player/jerk and wow, what a waste of time. But in all honesty in situations like this, no matter what anyone says or which advice they give you.. odds are you're going to do what you want. We're all guilty of it. Try your hardest to ditch this guy.
--- Wednesday, March 9, 2005 -
Answer by: Emma
Sounds to me like he's just messing you around.
He's continued to act waaaaay out of order over the past 8 or so months & there doesn't appear to be any end in sight.
You were wrong to act so respectfully to him when he got in touch with you long after his initial, hasty decision to have nothing more to do with you...
That said, maybe you were right to be civil INTIALLY, since you clearly still wanted to be with him, but now you're in a situation where he's pulling all the strings & you're left to analyse his behaviour...
You've wasted quite enough time on this guy & whilst you long to know why he cut things off so abruptly, so judgementally - I reckon the reasons are anyone's guess... maybe there was someone else & he used that text message as an excuse to have some "time out" when you didn't see him at all - to have fun with his other girl... nothing adds up.
Explain how his reaction & behaviour since has hurt you A LOT. See how he reacts to that. I bet he'll cut the ties like he did before. The question is - are you prepared to be let down that way again? If you continue to pine after him, email him often with friendly chat whilst he ponders over how long to drag this on, build up your hopes, it'll be YOU who'll end up getting hurt again.
He tricked you once, don't go there again unless he can give you reason to keep this up - i.e. commitment to some sort of "relationship", friendship at least.
Be tough with this guy, you did nothing wrong in the beginning. Good luck :-)
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