I've known this guy for about three or four years. The last year we've been really close, like best friends.In October we started hanging out just the two of us a lot. It seemed like things were going to happen with us, but neither would initiate it. In November sometime we had a talk and determined we both wanted things to happen, but I want more of a relationship and although he wants a relationship, he's not really ready for one yet. So, things ended and we were still friends.
Since then things have been up and down with our friendship, but it's still working. Three weeks ago we were hanging out and I ended up staying the night at his house, but nothing happened. The following week(two weeks ago) he asked to hang out, so we did. We ended up watching four movies at his house.
During the third movie I wasn't feeling good, so he put his arm around me and I wrapped my arms around him. I guess you could say we cuddled during the end of this movie. During the fourth movie he started kissing me. I have like no experience with guys, so I was being really shy and self-conscious about doing anything back even though I wanted to. I wish I could have just went with things, but I didn't and this kind of runied the mood. He asked if we should be doing this and I said that I wanted to. This got into a dicussion about what things would be with us. He said he didn't want a serious relationship, he wanted us to continue to hang out and have fun. He said things might not work, but I think we can maintain the friendship or things could turn into more of a relationship. I basically settled with this because I love him and want to be with him. So, we kissed and I know that my self-consciousness came through. I hoped he wasn't too turned off by that, but he seemed understanding. Kissing is all that happened and I spent the night. In the morning I left for work and he gave me a hug goodbye.
Since then he has text me everyday and we've talked on the phone. We haven't talked anymore about that night. He didn't say anything about wanting to see me last weekend. I did end up meeting him and some friends at a movie. He didn't really show any affection b/c he's not into pda and our friend's don't know what happened with us. He complimented me and was really talkative, it felt like normal. He walked me to my car and gave me a hug goodbye. This time like so many others I wanted to kiss him, but I couldn't let go and just do it, go with my heart.
So that's my long story, thanks for sticking with me through it. What do you think? Does he still want things to happen with us? Does he not want to see me becauase I'm a bad kisser or because things didn't go as far as he wanted that night? What should I do? Should I ask him what is the deal or just kiss him the next time the two of us are together and see how he responds? My mind is racing, I'm so confused, and don't know what to think. Please give me any advice you have. Thank you so much.
Responses to this article:
--- Friday, May 13, 2005 -
Answer by: Emma
Sorry, I thought it would have been okay for others to add their two cents as well :-/
--- Thursday, May 12, 2005 -
Answer by: sam
I believe she asked for MY advice, but ah, what the heck anyway.
--- Thursday, April 28, 2005 -
Answer by: Emma
Sorry to but in (it's been a while!) - I say try to overcome your inexperience by being more tactile & like you suggested, see how he reacts to it. It can be very awkward when it's all new to you, you end up sending out all sorts of mixed messages when that's the last thing you wanted to do. It's tough.
I'd make a point of giving it one last go, you haven't really tried to see where things could go so it'd be a bit of a shame to leave it at that. Be open about how you feel, feeling comfortable will help lots.
Take the chance :-)
--- Wednesday, April 27, 2005 -
Answer by: sam
I don't blame you for being confused.
I realize that you're inexperienced, but when it comes to guys (and ladies, too), most people aren't looking to suddenly jump into a relationship.
Ease up on the situation a bit. Take a step back and ask yourself what YOU want, regardless of how you feel about him. Do you want to date and see how things go? Or, do you want something that he is clearly not offering?
Continue to see him, but if it doesn't go anywhere further -- meaning, if he has no desire to get to know you better and even take the relationship to the next level (i.e., become an item), then perhaps you two are just meant to be friends, and friends ONLY.
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