Hey everyone, i just wanted to ask for a bit of advice if thats ok, I'm in my mid 20's & still single though i think my problem is either a confidence thing or even more so (as i can be confident at times anyway when i want to be) but i think it's reading the signs that I'm not too good at & was hoping you could help me.
For example, theirs a girl who has moved in near by, really nice looking though I can't work out wether she likes me or not, i'll explain.
I did her a CD of some stuff as she asked my younger brother if i would do it for her, of which i did & he took it over to her for me, my brother is only young & I've said to him a couple of times "ooh that so & so is lovely aint she mate" , obviously been a child he's told her (which is cool for me & all good anyway), he even gave her my mobile number but she never sent me a message or anything (which is fair enough cause i never gave her it myself) & she has said to my brother a couple of times "are you making this up?" (though i think she knows he aint as i've told his mates after them asking me so i'm sure they will have said something anyway), anyway, i sent her another CD as she lost the original one (apparently) & added a note, with a bit of fun with it saying stuff like "If you don't send me a message your getting no more CD's" (with a smiley face) & also i said "My little brother even said your sexy & have a nicer bum than Kylie's (training him up) ha", so she obviously must know, but later on she told my little brother that she lost my number in her phone anyway (she also told him she sent me a message but i didnt reply (though i never got one so not sure i believe that to be honest)), then i went to my local bar & later on she came in (i dont know if she asked my little brother or if he just said to her that I'm going to this local bar (she may have been going there anyway) but she came in to the bar), her older sister was sat behind me & she walked up to her to talk to them & as she was walking up, she slipped a little & grabbed my top (held it for quite a bit aswell though she probably was drunk lol) & later on, after she had gone, i went & spoke to her older sister & said brought this girl into conversation a little & I said "I would" & they laughed, so theirs enough signs there i think & surely she must have got the message.
Then some time last week, i was alking up the path & she was in the kitchen talking to someone but sat near the window, she turned round & was looking at me & was smiling at me quite a bit & then yesterday i was playing my music loud & she asked my brother to ask me to turn it down (think i may have pissed her off), though i saw her again last night & i spoke to her, she said "Hello" & then i said "did i piss you off with the music today then", she said some stuff & that she was dancing away to it in her house, so i said "why did u ask me to turn it down then" & she said "cause i couldnt hear my music then", so i just said nicely "fair enough, sorry" & she was with her friend going somewhere & just walked up (she acknowledged & i guess she was alright about it anyway), but she hasnt really said anything to me or anything after all this, thats promising, just the sings i've mentioned, though that for me could be wishful thinking or i could be reading things wrong, it's also hard to get to talk to her as i only see her when she walks past really or if she's in her kitchen & i'm walking up the path or whatever, so i dont really get chance to get to talk to her at all, but cause of the music thing aswell, & how the conversation didn't go as i wanted it to last night exactly (I wanted tpo say something like "you gonna let me take you out sometime" to her but she was with her friend, they were going somewhere etc.. & I couldn't do it, so i'm not sure if she is too bothered about me to be honest, but i wanted to ask for some opinions here, just cause she smiles & all the stuff above, don't necesarrily mean she is attracted to me does it? & i could be reading it wrong cause i want it to be that way, so can you tell me honestly how you see all this please?
I do like the girl, but don't wanna make a fool of myself or ruin it by saying anything to her just to be denied? (I know you can say you dont know until you ask) but i just wanted to know what you thought, are these good signs, or just friendlyness going on here?, I really am confused.
Sorry it's a little long but just wanted to get it across so you had a good idea to judge this for me & let me know, i have had serious heartbreak in the past & been let down by girls a lot that i don't want it to be "just another one" so called, she might think I'm nice but thats it, nothing more, i dont know?
What do you think & thanks also for your time & help in regards to this, it's much appreciated !!
EK
Responses to this article:
--- Wednesday, May 4, 2005 -
Answer by: Emma
No problem, I hope things work out :-)
--- Monday, May 2, 2005 -
Answer by: ek
Thank you Emma, i think thats probably what i got to do, it's no loss if she doesn't anyway really is it, it's just like "hey why not" ain't it?
When she reacted to the note, i'm not sure if it was because my little brother had said something to her or not, so didn't get much of a reaction, the positive things that stick in my mind are :
1. The way she was smiling & looking at me from the window. 2. When she grabbed my top in the bar after slipping a little (she kept hold of it for quite a bit) 3. Her asking my little brother "Hows your brother"
Negative : 1. Not having any direct signals from her strong enough to able to work her out 2. Not being able to work her out 3. The music lol
Neutral : 1. The "snog him" comment (could be just something said in jest anyway)
I do think i try analyse things too much aswell though, or maybe have a conscience, for example, i forgot to mention in this bar that she came over to her sister & i turned round & caught her sister pointing to me & i think the girl kind of went "noo", so that to me means something negative, however, i don't know what was said in regards to that, so i kinda get that "sod it" feeling, which is what i mean about mixed signals.
Thanks for your reply & i hope to hear a couple more views aswell if possible from some other people here.
It's very much appreciated :)
--- Monday, May 2, 2005 -
Answer by: Emma
Hey ek, don't worry about how much you "went on", I got the picture :-)
Okay, this seems to be a case of you not having the confidence to push yourself forward here. Maybe it's difficult to find an opportunity to talk to her but don't you think you're just making excuses because you're nervous?
Everyone gets nervous around someone they like & she seems to be nervous/unsure when she bumps into you. Hence, all the mixed signals...
You need to find the time to talk to her, ask her if you can take her out someplace sometime... see how she reacts. That's pretty much what you've gotta do here if you want to find out whether the two of you could have something going.
All of this mobile number business went on a bit which suggests she wants to initiate something; otherwise she would have just ignored your note in the CD!
But yeah, have more confidence in yourself; be cool & casual in your approach as if it's no big deal, that'll help in how you come across :-)
Best of luck, quit analysing & just go for it!
--- Sunday, May 1, 2005 - Another addition
Answer by: ek
in regards to feedback, negative or not, i wanted some opinions so i value all, another thing i forgot to add is that she also said a bit back to my little brother aswell, before she'd ever spoken to me, ill snog him while having a conversation with her sister, but i never heard that myself so dont know the context it was said in, girls are hard to read lol
*** SORRY FOR THE DOUBLE POSTING ALSO, I ACCIDENTLY SUBMITTED TWICE SO FEEL FREE TO DELETE ONE ***
--- Sunday, May 1, 2005 - woooah
Answer by: ek
that looks really long now it's stretched, sorry, hope i can get some good responses though & thank you to all who kindly do :)
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