My bf of a year and a half and me are in a long distance relationship. Last weekend I saw I guy that I used ot work with and had a big crush on. We knew each other almost 4 years now and are from the same hometown area. We have since been talking and I told him about my bf and how we are long distance but my feelings haven't changed about my bf. He has been telling me he has never stopped thinking aobut me and missing me. He is coming on real strong and calls me all the time. He asked me how I felt about him the other day and I told him I think he is cool and left it at that. He asked me to dinner tomorrow and I accepted. I love my bf and am not considering leaving on him under any circumstances. I don't know how to spare his feelings b/c I have been honest with him about my bf. I would have gotten involved with him back then but now I'm cannot. I don't think there is any harm with dinner so I agreed. He is a good man. How do I spare his feelings? And also is this a sign that maybe my bf and I should take some time? It seems coincidental that right when there is a test in my relationship that a man that I was so into back then pops up in my life now.
Responses to this article:
--- Thursday, June 23, 2005 - Surprised
Answer by: fenix1230
That was one of the best questions I've read in a long time. I thought for a second I was becoming psychic, because I was always able to predict what was going to be asked. Questions like "God he's so cute," and "We've known each other for so long..." and "it just happened." Man, I feel like I just watched the Sixth Sense, and got blindsided by the fact that he's been dead.
You my dear tanny, are one in a million, for the mere fact that you seem to have evolved in not only having an opposable thumb, but the ability to use your vastus lateralis and medialis to close your legs. Brave for you.
Now, I don't think dinner is harmless. This guy definitely wants something, and if I were in his position, I would take this as a step forward. Now you can take two directions with this dilema. 1) You can bring a friend everywhere you go with this guy, and hope he gets the hint. I mean everywhere, and if a friend can't make it, you let him know you don't want to go. As subtle as a kick in his babymaker, but some guys are dense. 2) Take this opportunity to take the offensive, and let him know you love your bf, and would never leave him, and that you just want to be friends. Then, you split the bill. And don't let him open the door for you. These two little things send signals to guys, and they question your motive. He will begin to think you don't like him, and provided he's not too stupid, he'll get the picture.
--- Sunday, June 19, 2005 -
Answer by: Emma
Kisses is right, if you are happy & in love with your boyfriend - why should this change anything... unless you are unsure & are looking for an excuse...?
Be honest with this guy, tell him the deal, that he needs to understand the situation & quit coming onto you. If he's worth having as a friend he'll take on board what you're saying, if he doesn't - you might want to put this past friendship to rest for the sake of your relationship with your boyfriend.
Good luck!
--- Saturday, June 18, 2005 -
Answer by: kisses
I wouldn't say that this is a sign that you and your bf should take some time...but I also think that dinner is harmless. If you wouldn't leave your bf under and circumstances, what's the problem? Go out to dinner and let this other man know very clearly that you're in a relationship that you're not planning on leaving and that the two of you should just be friends...it might sound stupid (let's just be friends) but its the truth, and the truth is the best way to go in this situation! Sorry I couldn't be of more help, and the best of luck!!!
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