Have you ever thought you have had things completely figured out with one guy? then all of a sudden you are around a whole different guy and start questioning everything? I have been in love with my best friend for three years it was kinda the thing when i first met him i never realized he would be the one guy i really love, and i hate the thought of not having him in my life. but you know you can't have a boyfriend and guy thats a best friend, as much as everyone says it will work, it won't. eventually you have to choose. i have an amazing boyfriend, Brett, he does everything right, any girl would be lucky to have him. but then why do i have so many doubts? i have broken things off with a couple of times, but he has a way with words and convinces me that we should work it out, and it doesn't take long for me to agree. but the thing is i can't give him my whole heart cuz i've already given it away. my best friend jeff, he is total opposite of Brett. he has a tendency of struggling when it comes to girls. but i find everything he does adorable. its so hard to describe. just seeing him makes a smile come across my face. me and jeff have tried things before but its when we were in highschool and it just never seemed to work out. he leaves for school soon, and as much as i hate the thought of being without him i'm thinking, when he leaves i can finally move on, even though i don't want to. he knows i care about him i'm just not sure he knows how much. is there a chance that i will be able to care for Brett as much as i care for Jeff? Its got to the point where i have a hard time being around Jeff cuz it hurts so bad to love him so much, and then i feel so guilty for not feeling that way about Brett even though i want to. as bad as this is its like i'm settling cuz i can't have Jeff. I know what everyone is thinking that i'm probably some horrible girl cuz its like i'm leading Brett on. but you don't get to pick who you fall in love with its just something that happens. i could really use some help thanks.
Responses to this article:
--- Saturday, July 23, 2005 - Tell him
Answer by: page0031
I agree with the others, you gotta tell Jeff how you really feel!!
--- Thursday, July 7, 2005 -
Answer by: kim
thanx!!!...but u give way better advice!!!
--- Wednesday, July 6, 2005 -
Answer by: Emma
Nice one Kim :-)
--- Tuesday, July 5, 2005 -
Answer by: kim
heyy ok go for jeff!!!! im telling you or else you're going to regret it!!! you know all girls look for boyfriends who can also be there friends and you already have it!!! there obviously wil be differences but you guys have to work it out...im telling you listen to your heart and ur heart says jeff jeff n only jeff...believe me any decision made from the heart can never be wrong! if u dont go with jeff,firstly all ur life ull regret it and plus ull look for jeff in all the other guys u date... hope it works out! PS; im with my best friend too!!
--- Monday, July 4, 2005 -
Answer by: Emma
Your heart is with Jeff. That is reason enough to break things off (for good) with Brett, so that's that sorted.
Come on girl! That makes perfect sense and quite the contrary to being a "horrible girl", I think you are just trying to please everyone (which is NEVER possible) & you ought to quit while you're ahead.
It certainly sounds as though Brett is the scapegoat, your excuse to let Jeff walk out of your life and whilst you may be "with him" - your heart isn't. Tell him ASAP that your heart really isn't in the relationship, that it's never going to work out because of this and don't let him talk you around.
I also advise you to let Jeff know how strongly you feel about him otherwise you ARE going to lose him. There is no doubt about that. Stop bottling all of your emotions up because letting him go is the last thing you want to do... it may be okay for a while - weeks, months... years even - but when you hear he's with someone and it's serious... the heartache is going to be so much worse if you really do love him now.
He's your best friend and if you tell him what you're telling us and he really can't see the two of you ever being more than "just friends" again at least you'll have taken the chance and you can really start to move on with your life, knowing you tried.
What if he's thinking the same but sees you with someone else and doesn't want to "rock the boat" since you appear, externally at least, to be happy & content with how things are? That would be terrible.
Being best friends makes a relationship stronger - they have a better chance of working out since you loved them as a friend first...
Don't keep locking up how you feel. Give Jeff a chance and stop making up your own versions of how he'll react, whether he thinks things could work out and so on... talk to him before he leaves, preferably today... Please, before it's too late & you missed your chance.
Take a deep breath & realise what's at stake. You love Jeff, you want to be with him, thinking of being with him makes you happy and just seeing him makes you smile... its beautiful, do you really want to let him go because you're scared? I know I wouldn't.
Good luck, life is too short for regrets.
--- Sunday, July 3, 2005 -
Answer by: tanny
I'm confused too girl. I guess the best advice I can give is to take each guy and really think about them and wat they mean to u. Jeff is ur friend and ur in love with him u say. But think about how much he means to ur life. Are u willing to risk friendship with a great guy which can make him always b in ur life or not. Are u sure this love is one that will be forever? R u sure u aren't in love with Jeff because u want an excuse for not loving Brett? Does Jeff feel the same way as u do about him? And Brett, maybe he is the one for u and these feelings fo rJeff are just a test of ur love. R u sure Jeff's leaving isn't a sign giving the right choice in front of ur face? Only u can make this decision but I think u need to take the time to think things through. U owe it to all 3 of u.
LOVE QUESTIONS & ANSWERS: Love Q & A : Get your love & relationship questions answered - NEW!! Love Q&A Forum | Old Love Q&A Love Pros : Professional Help with love's challenges & relationships
