My bf and I of a year and a half now live about 800 miles apart. It's been about a month since we lived this far apart. He doesn't have a cell phone right now and We usually e-mail daily and he calls me on a friends phone every 2, sometimes 3 days. He is at school, college, this summer. THe last time we talked was like 9 days ago and the last e-mail I got was 5 days ago and it was short, unlike they usually are, and all it said was I'm sick basically. Why the sudden change? I think he is involved with someone else and no longer has time. We always talk about how we're going to work at our relationship but I think he has forgotten. This past weekend I haven't slept really at all bc I've been so hurt and upset and confused about waht's going on with us. Guys approach me all the time and I turn them down bc I'm in love with my bf and would never compromise that. I give people the benefit of the doubt but I shouldn't have to give him that bc he shouldn't even be in this position if he is my man. I'm so hurt because regardless of what happens he should let me know instead of being MIA for over a week. For some reason, I think he has a girl there and is forgetting about me. I was in the process of planning a trip to stay with him for like a week using my money. Maybe I'm making more of it than it really is which I doubt.
Does being in a long distance relationship mean in just a matter of the end is near? What r some tips on keeping a long distance relationship working?
Any help is appreciated.
Responses to this article:
--- Tuesday, July 12, 2005 - Trust is essential...
Answer by: Red_Roses
Long distance relationships CAN and DO work... military marriages and relationships are a prime example.
HOWEVER -- in YOUR particular scenario, it is definitely odd that he hasn't called you in over a week, so yes, you have every reason to be suspicious. But the main issue here I think is trust. If trust was a factor and was in your relationship, you would be confident in him and not have to question his behavior or intentions. Without trust, there is no relationship. For a relationship to work, both people have to have their hearts in it and give 100 percent each. It doesn't seem like he's on the same page as you.
In all honestly it sounds like he isn't in the position or is ready for something as difficult as a LDR. You don't have trust in him, and you expect things from him that he isn't giving you (returning your phone calls and e-mails). It appears that your heart is more in this relationship than his is. It sounds like he definitely has some growing up to do before he can handle the pressures of a LDR. I mean, is it really THAT hard to pick up a phone? Think about it.
You'll eventually hear from him, but in the meantime, you should be thinking of what YOU want in a relationship. Perhaps you should seriously re-think this one, because obviously you're not satisfied.
--- Wednesday, July 6, 2005 - Long distance doesn't mean the end, but....
Answer by: fenix1230
Long distance doesn't mean the end, but being in college long distance does. What the heck are you doing being in a relationship at your age?!?!?! Your boy's cheating, and he's surrounded by girls all the time. Sorry kid, there's other hot girls around him, who miss their bf's also, and the study together, and then whoops!!!!!
I'm hoping you are about to go to college also. Get out of your small town, save your money, and start saying yes to other guys. You're intuition is right, and he's cheating. Drop the guy, bounce, and find another guy.
--- Tuesday, July 5, 2005 -
Answer by: kim
Hi Well I dont have any experience of a long distance relationship either but one of my really close friends is currently in one and they have been in different countries since 2 years and they're so steady!!! I dont think long distance means the end of a relationship and I know this because my parents too were in a long distance relationship for 8 years!!! And there were no computers then!! Anyways,I think you should wait for his next mail or next phone call and talk it out with him.Tell him how much you want it to last and you'll get to know whether he's really interested by his reaction.And please stop thinking he's cheating on you...if you think so then just confront him!!! hope it works out!!!
--- Monday, July 4, 2005 -
Answer by: Emma
Hi Tanny,
Well, I have no experience of relationships which are "long distance" but since communication is all you have I'd say it's pretty essential to keeping the bond strong.
You felt safe when he called a few times a day, emailed a lot and made plans, now you're hurt and lost wondering what's going on at his end... it's totally understandable and I commend your efforts at keeping the relationship alive...
But you have noticed a change, whether he is bored of not seeing you and it hurts him, whether he has someone else behind your back is all guesswork - what you have to do is talk to him... tell him you feel that things have changed, look for words of reassurance - if none come your way, it may signal the end of this relationship and as bad as it will be, it's better to find out sooner rather than later that it's not working.
Best of luck, give him the benefit of the doubt - I hope there is an easy explanation for the change.
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