My girlfriend and i have been haveing sex for about 3 months now. we love each other more than anything, and that made our first time so special cuz we gave each other the most special thing anyone can give anyone. well turns out I wasnt her first time. she was drunk and it was a mistake so i know she feels bad too. this happened sometime around april, and she just told me now, 3 months after our first time. i feel so bad. like, im not the only one who has seen her naked. im not the only one who has shared the greatest thing with her. can someone please say something to ease the pain, or maybe some advice for getting over it. thank you
Responses to this article:
--- Friday, July 22, 2005 -
Answer by: Red_Roses
While it would have been best had she been more honest with you -- don't take it so hard. Too many people put too much emphasis on the first time thing... and while the first time thing can be very special... for most people it is not. Your girlfriend made a mistake in not telling you, but that doesn't mean your love-making is any less special. It seems like you really ARE her first, because her first time seemed like a mistake, where you are special and dear to her.
Consider that you were her "real" first, and let it go.
--- Monday, July 11, 2005 - Greatest!?!?!? You mean you guys shared Nachos!
Answer by: fenix1230
mfc51, whatever the hell kind of name is that....sex is not the greatest thing in the world, and trust me, if it is, you'll meet enough girls willing to give the greatest gift to you by buying a drink and being a jerk.
My problem is, and what you should be worrying about, is that if she can get drunk enough and loose enough to have sex once, then she can get drunk enough and loose enough to have sex again, and again, and again. Think about it, once a cheater, always a cheater, well a girl who can't hold her liquor, just can't hold it, and will probably have sex again if she gets drunk enough. The question is, do you want to stay with a girl you may well bang your own brother if she gets wasted enough?
As for her first time, I guess what everybody says is right, you were the first she shared her feelings with and blah blah blah blah blah. But she gave it up to someone else, and she wasn't even in love. I would hate to see what she'd do if you guys had a really bad fight, and she wanted to get even. Think about it.
The only way you could really get over it, is if you have sex with another girl. Then both of your scores will be even, and you can get on with your life. Trust me, at least for me, this works, and might make you feel a lot better.
--- Monday, July 11, 2005 -
Answer by: kisses
Remember, although you're not her first, you were probably the first one that MEANT anything to her and isn't that something wonderful!?!
--- Sunday, July 10, 2005 -
Answer by: Emma
I think maybe a little more honesty on her part would have been in order if the two of you are in love like you say you are... but you can't turn back time even though many people wish they could...
Go easy on her. Enjoy the relationship you have and don't ruin things by making her feel so terrible about herself and what she gave up before you came into her life.
I'm not sure anyone here can truly ease the pain, that may only be achievable by your girl. Keep on loving her, be as open as you can with her, what you share with her now - that other guy did not, hold onto that.
I hope you can get over this. It's tough; just don't allow it to ruin what the two of you have.
--- Saturday, July 9, 2005 -
Answer by: kim
Yeah i agree with corrupted.Getting drunk,i know, is not an excuse but people make mistakes.Atleast she told you.Technically,it wasnt her first time but think about it...You are her first because it wasnt a mistake,it was beautiful,there was love,passion and intensity between you guys!!! I mean what more would you want.Now please stop wasting your time pondering over this thought and keep having great sex...lol!!!
--- Friday, July 8, 2005 - already typed a title
Answer by: corrupted
You are the first person she had sex with and actually liked it. Keep that in mind. The guy is probably dead. He's gone, and she is yours. It could be a lot worse too. she could be dead. Cheer up.
LOVE QUESTIONS & ANSWERS: Love Q & A : Get your love & relationship questions answered - NEW!! Love Q&A Forum | Old Love Q&A Love Pros : Professional Help with love's challenges & relationships