I wrote about a week ago it was the one called "I'm so confused" thank you all for your help you all helped me out a lot. i finally broke up with brett, for good. now i'm stuck here with these feelings for jeff and i have no idea where to even begin when it comes to telling him how i really feel. i guess i'm a little scared i hate the thought of him not being in my life let alone him being with someone else. i love everything about him, i love the person i am because of him. i love the feeling i get when he calls or just shows up at my door just to say hi. he is truly amazing. i have basically been the main girl in his life for a few years but it seems all of a sudden girls are noticing how amazing he is. i just need help getting my feelings out to him no matter what the outcome because i don't want any regrets in life. i love him, and i want the best for him, even if that means it isn't with me. its weird i never thought i would ever be this crazy about a guy. but i am, and every chance i would get to see him even if it was just for a minute i would take it in a heartbeat. i'm scared that if things don't work out with him i will never feel this way for anyone else. i compare everyone to him. i can't move on because of him, i've tried but end up finding more things i love about him that other guys just don't have. i could really use some help. thanks.
Responses to this article:
--- Friday, July 15, 2005 -
Answer by: Emma
I think you need to weigh up how he might react to such a declaration because everyone reacts differently...
If you don't feel comfortable, don't say that... but what will you say instead? That you just fancy him? I reckon, honesty is the best policy... be truthful to yourself - do you love him? If you do, say it... you don't want to lose him.
I think you harbour very strong feelings and whilst it might not be appropriate to tell him you're in love with him, you don't wanna make it sound too casual either.
Ya know, you shouldn't be ashamed to say how you really feel... if it means you have a relationship with him in the future, isn't it worth it?
You're not strangers, this isn't just some guy you've never spoken two words to... then it definitely would be waaaay OTT - any guy would think "this girl's craaaazy" in such a situation.
From what you've said, the two of you are close already and a "I love you and want the best for you" might be too mellow in these circumstances.
I have to admit I am a "go for it" kind of person. I hate to think I missed out, or someone didn't understand how I truly felt because I just didn't make it clear enough. It's worth saying, I think, that guys often need it spelling out to them.
The choice is yours, just don't sound too nonchalant and you should be okay - a balance is what is needed and only you know what would be appropriate, considering the relationship you already have with him.
Sorry if I'm not helping much, I really do want the best outcome for you but I often feel that people who come here have a tendency to sell themselves short... to miss out when a direct approach was the order of the day.
Good luck with whatever approach you decide, just don't do nothing ;-)
--- Thursday, July 14, 2005 - Telling him I love him
Answer by: Glam_girl
Emma, If I actally full out tell him I love him, is that going to scare him off and is he going to think i'm crazy for telling him that?
--- Wednesday, July 13, 2005 -
Answer by: Emma
Hello again Glam_girl! It's nice to have you posting back :-)
Rest assured girl, you did the right thing by breaking up with Brett. You're being honest and that is all anyone can ask of you.
As for announcing your feelings to Jeff... I have to say, I really take to heart what you said here -
"i love him, and i want the best for him, even if that means it isn't with me"
This is what I believe most people understand by love that is genuine... the painful desire to want them to be happy no matter what the cost to your own feelings... it's healthy and it's heartbreaking at the same time but it's real and it gets me every time I hear it... *sigh*
You might want to end any conversation you have with him with this... that way the pressure (if there is any) is off and he'll see how strong your feelings really are... that you're not delivering an ultimatum.
The things you told us, you need to tell him. It's that simple and I hate to just say "go for it" when in reality, it's the most difficult thing in the world to do since so much is at stake but you have to. No regrets? That's the plan, girl.
If you fall short of telling him what you've told us, he may not realise what he could have with you. A love like that doesn't come along every day.
Have you thought of writing him a letter? I know it sounds a bit childish but it's often easier to condense your feelings in writing, there isn't the pressure of eyes watching, there aren't the awkward pauses and it's a whole lot easier to "remember" everything you want to say...
...it's something to chew over and it might just be what you are looking for to get this all out, without missing anything out because of nerves...
I hope you get your man, I really do. You know doing nothing isn't an option here and you know what needs to be said.
Good luck, be brave and get writing, even if it's just a way of allowing these emotions to flow for a practice run ;-)
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