last night i came in and asked my mum if she could bring some stuff round to my boyfriends as i have been staying here for the past 6 months or so without staying at home once. so she did. bare in mind, me and my boyfriend have discussed before that i dont feel comfortable not contributing to the house (he rents with a friend) so he said not to worry bring some stuff round and make yourself at home, so i did. This morning he turns round to me and says "its funny how you just brought loads of stuff round without asking" i was so shocked by what he said i felt sick, then i asked him to explain he was his typical stubborn self and was like forget it forget it shut up whatever yeah yeah. then he gave in and said he doesnt mind its just that i should of let him know. Then he starts getting moddy with me and arging with me over the smallest things, anyway hes just left the house, im sat here crying my eyes out because he is treating me so bad, and he had the nerve to tell me before he left the house "you are being schizo lately" i have posted bout the possibility of him cheating before (is he? post)and now i am just so hurt and upset by him i dont know what to do, i dont want to stay but i dont want to go. i want him to want me here instead of me deciding all the time, he gets in these strops and plans we have made go to pot when he says, right do what you wwant im not in the mood, im so exhausted with treading on egg shells, when we solve one problem he brings up another. I dont like how ive changed, ive gone so like a doormat when i never used to be. Im terrified of losing him but i dont think he lvoes me anymore. Itd be so easy for you all to say leave him hes an ass, but please try and understand and think a little harder than that. id appreciate an advice
I know that you are in a tough situation and are hurting right now, but the best thing to do right now would be move out. Maybe with you living with him you've spent to much time with each other. It's obviously not fun for you this way to say the least. Don't let him walk all over you. I heard a saying: "The best relationships are effortless." Now obviously, everything requires effort, but when you have to work so hard to get something to work, it's not worth it because once one problem is solved, another will come up. Good luck.
--- Saturday, July 16, 2005 -
Answer by: Emma
Ellie, you can't keep him at any cost...
If you want to carry on putting up with how he is, that's okay... but why should you settle for it?
You give someone the "right", almost, to treat you a certain way if you allow them to with no qualms...
You've got 2 options - either you accept all of this as "just how he is nowadays..." or you start having a little self-respect. You've allowed yourself to be treated like a doormat and he is obliging by treating you as just that.
Make some changes. For a start - if he's making it clear you're not welcome living with him, move out... if he's making it clear he has no respect for you, have some respect for yourself and if he's making it clear he doesn't love you, do the right thing and love yourself, go find happiness with a guy who's worthy of your time...
As the great Enigma would have said - it's just my two cents... I hope things work out
LOVE QUESTIONS & ANSWERS: Love Q & A : Get your love & relationship questions answered - NEW!! Love Q&A Forum | Old Love Q&A Love Pros : Professional Help with love's challenges & relationships
