I've been with this guy for 9 months, every thing was great, i trusted everything he did and said. Well i had his password to his voicemail..and recently i checked his voicemail and found a message from a girl, i decided it was nothing to worry about. About 2 hours later she left him another message that said," I'm thinking about you, bastard...well you could of had this yesterday,but you didnt want it and now you'll never get the chance ever again, well talk to you later..bye", I forwarded the message to my phone and called him to tell him I was gonna go pick up my stuff from his house and that it was over.
Well, I told him to check his messages on his phone and tell me why I should stay with him and he said he didnt know what was going on.(by the way, he didnt know I had his code) He said he didnt have any messages and that he wanted me to tell him what the messages said. When I got to his house he had already erased the messages and tried to say he never got them. Little did he know that I had forwarded them from his phone to mine. Well I let him hear them from my phone and he said he didnt know who she was. He swore to God over and over again that he didnt know her and that those messages were probably not even for him.
I told him "people dont mark the wrong number twice, and she said "Bastard"...the same word you use 24/7". He told me that for once i had to believe him. Of course I did, since i'm hard headed.
Well 3 days later he changed his code and I called him and told him it was over and i told him i had his code the whole time. He flipped out and said I had betrayed him and his privacy. Then he finally admitted to knowing her and he yelled at me and said she's just a friend...But why would he lie about her in the first place...He said he was sparing my feelings and i told him that was BS snce I gave him 3 chances that night to tell me the whole truth.
I told him I wanted to meet her or alteast talk to her on the phone and make sure she knew who I was, and he said he didnt want me marking his territory with his friends. He say's all his friends know he has a girlfriend but i've only met his guy friends. When he goes places its always his girl and guy friends..he never invites me to go anywhere they go...About this girl, I have a feeling she doesn't know about me since she left that cute message...I don't know what to do..all he has done is lied and it hurts that he lied to my face. I trust him to a certain extent but if he doesnt answer his phone or text back I feel like he's talking or is with her.
What should I do?
Responses to this article:
--- Thursday, July 28, 2005 - Yes, I think he's cheating
Answer by: Red_Roses
I don't really have to tell you this relationship is, well, doomed.
There is literally no trust in this relationship. You were very much in the wrong for snooping and invading his privacy, but you got the answers you dreaded and now, you're still wondering if he's cheating?
Huh?
Look, as the saying goes, the writing is on the wall. You just need to wake up and read it.
This guy is not being honest with you. He lied to your face. Do you really believe that this girl was "just a friend"? Come'on. Something HAD to have been going on that he clearly wasn't informing you about. He can't be trusted.
I think it's time for you to move on, and leave this guy's voice mail alone.
--- Thursday, July 28, 2005 -
Answer by: page0031
I dont know if I agree with the first response. The fact that he immeiatley started to cover up the fact that he even got the message sounds fishy. He should have been honest from the moment you confronted him. However, it does sound like he turned this girl down like the first response said. You shouldnt have had any reason to be checking his voice mails, so why did you? Did you not trust him to begin with? Sometimes it is better to NOT know everything. What if he did turn this woman down and that was that? Then you got into his voicemail and accused him, or at least didnt allow him to handle the situation on his own. I am not saying thats what happened. I have no idea if he cheated. I wish I could give you an answer. It just sounds to me like you didnt trust him to begin with and now he doesnt trust you. If you really think you can work things out, you owe him a big apology and for your own sake, allow him his privacy. If he is cheating on you, you will find out anyway... voice mail isnt the only way you will find out. keep your eyes open and it will be obvious to you. I hope it all works out.
I have to admit, you're in quite a tough spot...When there is no more trust in a relationship, it will not last. Obviously you don't trust him because of the voice mail you found left by his friend, nor does he trust you because he found out you got his voice mail code. Why did you need his code anyways...because you didn't trust him. Reread the message that this girl left for him. "You could've had this yesterday, but you didn't want it?" He DID NOT cheat on you. He turned down this other girl because of you. Understand why he is upset. You didn't trust him in the first place. I don't know why he lied to you, but think about it...when we are under pressure about something, sometimes we lie. In the end, did he not come clean? It may seem like I am defending him, but I'm not. You both have lost trust in each other. If I were you, I would sit him down, and explain your actions. Tell him that you want to move on and try again with the relationship. Everyone screws up, and I believe everyone deserves a second chance. If a similar scenario unfolds in the future, then don't stand for it. In the end, the choice is yours.
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