Title:
how do i know if he loves me really,or not?
By: jerrysgrl
my boyfriend and i have been dating for a year and a month. im so in love with him,i feel like i cant be without him,when im not with him or talking to him,im longing for him. and i tell him this,and he knows it. he tells me he loves me all the time,he was the one that said "i love you" 1st. but im not sure if he does,or if he loves me the way i love him because,it seems im more into him then he is into me. i do alot for him,constantly going out of my way for him,even if it means,ill have 2 give up something for myself ill give it to him.i just want to know if im wasting my time and energy? we get along really good for the most part,i mean of course we fight,but thats a healthy part of every relationship,but we dont really have any big problems,we fight over dumb things,like friends,or something worthless.
Responses to this article:
--- Friday, August 19, 2005 - Here is what I would suggest
Answer by: love pro adviser
Well I should think that this sounds like an excellent relationship. But, I can suggest this, Don't try to think about him a lot and try to focus on doing other things without thinking of him all the time. And yes it's great that he loves you too but you have got to stop bragging about how much you love him and look on to the future and do better things with you're life. WHEN your with him, THEN think about him, NOT when you're not around him. And trust me, concern and doubt are your problems. Try not to think about the relationship, try to think about how well he is treating you WHEN your with him. NOT when your far away from him. Don't give up on him either. We don't want to cheer you up if you doubt him. Don't be afraid that he will turn against you. DONT EVER. just look at him and tell him that you love him here and there. NOT all the time and that is how relationships break up is because of miscommunication like your's. Just try to focus on doing things with other girl freinds that you have such as going to the mall without him sometimes and doing stuff on your own will be able to clear your mind and relax, he is SOOO not going to break up with you. Trust me Im a pro at advise like this. So, good luck and take my advise well.
Adrian Barcomb/Love pro Adviser
--- Tuesday, August 16, 2005 - Red_Roses
Answer by: Red_Roses
I think it's great and wonderful that you love your guy, and that you do nice things for him the way you do. He's a lucky guy. But, what does he do for YOU?
You express doubt in your relationship, and you also express insecurity. The question is WHY? Does he also do such things for you? Are you the one who is putting more into the relationship than he is? Are you expecting things from him that he is not giving you? These are questions you should ask yourself.
The thing is, relationships are all about a partnership. They require both people involved to give 100 percent each. The 50/50 percent stuff is a joke -- because for a loving relationship to be complete and fulfilling, it needs effort from both people. You can't constantly be the only one working on the romance and such; he needs to show he cares too, even if it happens to be in his own subtle ways. Some men can be very romantic in their own ways, even if it isn't flamboyant. A love letter or an evening walk is romantic in itself... romance doesn't always require cards from Hallmark or a dozen red roses. :-)
The bottome line is that you need to TALK to him about how you're feeling. Perhaps you're trying too hard and should be more natural about it. While being in love and caring for someone is truly wonderful, make sure you're not over-doing it. Just make sure that he knows how you feel, and communicate with him about this.
Best of luck to you.
--- Tuesday, August 16, 2005 - You have to trust him
Answer by: nickpalazini
From what you've written, I believe that your boyfriend does love you as much as you love him.
If he didn't, would he still be with you after a year and a month? He was the first on to say "I love you." to you. He wouldn't have been able to say it unless it was true, and love is not something that disappears. Realize that some guys do not always feel the need to expresst their feelings because of the "tough guy" label that society as placed on us, even though it's probably what a girl would want to hear. By not hearing or receiving what you are giving may also be what prompted you to write. Doubt is something normal, but please don't let it break this relationship.
Just another piece of advice, don't give so much of yourself to another person that you have nothing left for yourself. Don't always go so much out of your way for your boyfriend. You seem like a great girl, and that you care about this guy, but it's OK to put yourself first.
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