Ok, I dated a guy named Russell earlier in the year(Jan-April). Lacking in emotional benefits (I NEVER slept with this guy--VIRGIN), I decided to move on. Well, it's now August, and he calls (we've been talking periodically--as friends, nothing more-- for a couple of months now) and says that he has something important to discuss with me. Ok, well--after 2 days of no returning phone calls, I finally get in touch with him...only to threaten to hang up on him because he wouldn't tell me. Then he says "I regret letting go of you." At first I was shocked, but now I'm really unsure about where he is heading with that comment. Look, I'm already insecure about what happened between us then and NOW--all I want to do is to be a friend to him, but a part of me misses him as well.
Our relationship consisted of this: Awkward phone calls (him NOT TALKING most times), little spats here and there, invited over his house 2 times--so I guess it wasn't really a relationship, huh? Boy that's crappy...
Anyways, I wrote an email telling him I don't think he likes talking to me (we did discuss after that comment he made, telling him that I am looking for somebody who doesn't only like me for my body, etc... Communication plays an important role in RELATIONSHIPS, etc......) and that he didn't really "let me go", that we never really "had each other because we didn't take the time to actually sit and get to know one another". I also wrote that I care about him and I want him to be happy. "Let's not hurt each other" was my ending statement to him.
Now, I feel bad. I know I can be a good girlfriend, probably not for him (because of differences) but to someone else, but I DO care about this boy. I want a relationship (which I told him)--no bull****. I sent this email today...but he's going to hate me. What do I do? I haven't called him...yet. Should I?????
SOO SORRY THIS IS LONG!!! :(
Responses to this article:
--- Friday, August 19, 2005 - I should say so
Answer by: love pro adviser
Well I really think you should. I would hope to think that this guy you described is that he is only waiting for a response. So what I would suggest is this, give him a response back to him and see what happens. Then, tell him how much you feel for him, such as, do you like him as more than a friend or just as a friend? Tellhim that and see what happens with that. Good luck and take my advise well.
Adrian Barcomb/Love pro adviser
--- Friday, August 19, 2005 -
Answer by: Red_Roses
I'm sure you would make a good girlfriend, and I'm sure you do care for this boy, but -- question: How can a guy "like you only for your body" if you're not having much of a (romantic) relationship to begin with (with no physical aspects involved)? I mean, did he constantly paw you or something?
In all honesty, it doesn't sound like you two had much of a relationship at all... more like game playing and hanging around. I could be wrong, but even you said it wasn't much of a relationship, so don't blame me here. :-)
Personally, I think the answer to this question is this guy was just interested in getting to KNOW you. It doesn't seem like he had a relationship on his mind, just getting to know you and having a great time. Alas, this is reality in the (especially young) world of dating; all too often you find you just aren't compatible, learn from it, and move on.
If this guy wants to be friends, that's great. But, don't get your hopes up for much else... because he sounds young, indecisive, and unsure of what he wants in general. And don't call him and chase him, that's just a big no-no. If he pursues you, calls YOU and chases YOU, you'll know that there is something more meaningful going on here than just game playing.
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