I have known this woman for several years. She has gone through 2 divorces both bad and the last about a year ago. I have been in love with her for a long time but she only wanted friendship. The day she married the second time was the most painful day I have ever been through and it still hurts but I accepted it because she was happy and I was still and always will be her friend. However recently she came over to visit and we ended up making love afterward as we lay there in each others arms she said she loved me. We went out for the evening had a great time and ended the evening with a passionate kiss and all seemed well.
I didn't hear from her for a few days and when I did she was back to just friends again. A few things to note. Her last divorce hurt her very much and she says she will never marry again. She also says she is not ready for a relationship. Ok I can understand that but the change was so sudden and extreme it has me very confused. Also there is an age difference I am 41 she is 55. She is very beautiful but I am not good looking and am affraid either the difference in age or in looks may be at the heart of the matter. I am worried if I show too much affection I will dive her away and lose a good friend but my feelings for her are so strong it is eating me up inside.
We have a very close friendship and enjoy each others company greatly. When I am with her it feels so right. No other woman in my past has ever made me feel or touched my soul so deeply the way she does. I have cared very much for other women in the past but never married becuase in the end something inside of me said this isn't the one it just didn't feel right and I had begun to think I would never marry. Yet with this woman I could easily spend the rest of my life and would marry her in a instant. I don't know how to persue this or if I should just give up or what to do. My heart is going in circles and it seems to have swallowed my brain.
I appreciate any advice. Thank you.
Responses to this article:
--- Tuesday, August 23, 2005 -
Answer by: david88
I really appreciate the response and it makes a lot of sense.
I think I was affraid the friendship may be in trouble and there was a bit of insecurity on my part involved as well. I took her out for her birthday last night and we had a wonderfull time and talked a lot about things and the friendship is fine in fact stronger than ever. She was hurt very much so maybe she is fed up with men. The last guy seemed nice to everyone for several years then just changed in a way that shocked everyone. And maybe it just isn't to be between she and I but I know now we will be friends forever and that is better than not having her in my life at all. I have not yet given up on romance with her I still think we could be very happy together but I am not in a big hurry and if all it can be is friends, well I can live with that.
Thanks again
--- Tuesday, August 23, 2005 - That is what I'm hear for.
Answer by: love pro adviser
This is my job and this is what I love to do! So now it seems like you got something for her? well I can understand this problem with her 2 divorces and ending it there. So here is what I can do. Advise you to maybe ask her to lunch or something to make it up to her. Ask her to enjoy coffee or something to eat and try to work with that. This is all that I can say. I'm not that great with trying to work with a situation like this because it sounds like she is really fed up with problems in relationships. Maybe you can try to be her secret admirer. Try that. I f that doesn't work, then try to see if you can take her out to get some coffee or something like that. If that doesn't work, then you're just going to have to move on and try not to be too disturbed by it. Only because that she is in a lot of pain that you wouldn't be able to cure. If you understand what I'm saying, then just try you're best and hope to see if you suceed and if not, then just move on. Good luck and take my advise well.
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